God Will Never Fail You

  Okay lets start off with WOW yesterday was quit a day for us. First of all there is this festival that comes to our town every year. Well my husband and I were all set to take the kids so our oldest could ride some rides, play games and watch the parade. Well we get there, my husband and I end up in a fight so we turned around and went home. Well the fight got even worse, I mean such horribly mean things were said, I never felt so much heart ache. And oh I wanted to pack my bags and run, and for the first time I didn't use the divorce word or take any clothes out of my closet. I think that's why it hurt more than ever, because I'm use to running but I stood my ground and took the pain that comes with standing by your spouse no matter what, for better or for worse. So the fight went on for a few hours of course, it was just awful.
    As I was laying in my bed just depressed, telling God that I felt like a failure at everything, my life, as a wife, as a mother. I beat my self up over and over, I felt like I been trying so hard to be this awesome wife, mother, I wanted to live my life by the Bible, but I just felt like my efforts were worthless, and yes I wanted to give up on my faith yesterday. But just as I was ready to throw in the towel, God was not ready for me to let go and He was in the process of planning something for me not to fail at. He was about to show me how important I was to this world and that I was worth more than I felt.
    I received a call from a cousin of mine, who informed me that my grandmother (who has Alzheimer's) was at the festival with my grandfather and had gotten lost, he couldn't find her anywhere. My heart immediately sank, I then called my brother in law to inform my sister who was working at the festival so she could help search for her. Sitting there in my bed I just was lost, I knew I couldn't just do nothing, so I grabbed the keys and started searching the roads behind the festival thinking she may have tried to walk home since its not to far from the fair grounds. Nothing, just random people walking along the streets which scared me even more, what if someone who likes to cause trouble saw this little old lost lady walking home, what could happen?? I gave up I went home and called my mother and said I didn't see her and I waited for further instructions. I knew there were a lot of people looking for her so I put my hope in that. Then the phone rang, my mom told me I needed to go to her house and collect as many pictures of her as I could for the police she had been gone for over an hour. My heart fell even lower into my chest, I looked at my husband and said we have to go now, before I could even finish he was out his chair.
     Luckily we live just a few blocks from my grandparents house, so it didn't take but a minute to get to her house. As I was searching for pictures of her, I began to call my mom, I walked out side for a brief moment and then back into the house and my grandmothers phone was ringing. I started not to answer it, but then decided well maybe I should. When I picked up the phone, it was an old neighbor and friend of my grandparents who had moved up town. She said a random woman (rather an angel) called her and told her she picked up my grandmother and she happen to remember a number that was this old neighbor of theirs. So she was going to bring her to her house. Immediately I told her my husband and I were coming to pick her up, and I called my mother and told her to start calling everyone to stop searching.
    My grandmother was picked up way up town, she was so far from the festival that she forgot she was even there. Thank goodness for this wonderful woman who told my grandmother she was not going to leave her until someone picked her up. As we drove up tears of I don't even what, happiness, still shaken, mixed emotions for sure, but grateful being the biggest. I hugged my grandmother like I haven't before. She was safe, and the world was right again. I hugged this woman like I haven't hugged a stranger before, I was so thankful that there are still amazing people in this world.

   See when I wanted to give up on my faith, because I felt like I was failing God, and I felt like I was just a big disappointment to him like I had been in so many aspects of my life before. Right when I was feeling that all my efforts of trying to turn my life around for so long was just leading it to me being a big fat failure.. God was in the makings of showing me that I wasn't a failure to Him, that I was worth ten times more than I could imagine.
   Had my husband and I not go in that awful fight, had we not stayed home instead of being at the festival, I wouldn't have taken that first call, and then I wouldn't have been at my grandmother house when that lady called to tell us my grandma would be there, and it would have taken a lot longer to find her, as everyone was searching at the festival for her. 
   God sometimes uses bad situations for something good. Through it all, my husband held my hand, told me he loved me and he was sorry, and at that point, it didn't matter that we were fighting, what mattered was he was there, from the first moment of knowing he was ready to go searching for her too, the moment I said we had to leave now, he was out of his chair before I could finish. In the mist of the worst argument, he dropped everything, grabbed my hand and never let go. He is my rock, just as the Lord is our rock, and our salvation. In those moments of not knowing and even after we got her, he was Jesus to me. He kept me together, and after it was over, we knew there was a reason we were fighting. And I think we loved each other more because of it. 
    God is good, He never fails us. In our darkest and loneliest moments, in the moments we want to give up, He is already planning something bigger, something to help us keep on going. He is always going to show us we are worth more than we think. We are worth everything to Him, and He always has a purpose planned for us.
    Thank you Lord, for giving me so many wonderful people in my life, I am blessed to know and be related to so many. There was so many people helping search, helping spread the word. It is a wonderful thing to know how many people care, and will stop what their doing to help you in a time of need. Yesterday could have been a lot worse, yet it wasn't. God is amazing!

Advice for Engaged and Married Couples!

  

 

   Recently I notice around me so much negativity and drama between couples, just stupid things that shouldn't be happening . I see more marriages falling apart because people aren't willing to do the work that comes with marriage. My husband and I were once part of that, and when I look back. I am just upset and embarrassed at some of the things that went on between us.
   So I thought if I could give engaged couples advice on marriage based on my own experiences I would say something like this:

~ If your going to fall in love with a man other than your husband, best it be Jesus Christ.
I've been down that road, of thinking of other men, wondering what my life would be like with someone else, I've had a few crushes on other men. I just felt like my husband wasn't giving me enough. And one time I found a guy who told me the right things and I cheated on my husband. And in the end, I felt like the worst person ever, I couldn't understand why I kept lusting after other men and it drove me completely insane, up until a priest I saw at confession who could read souls told me exactly why. He told me I was empty, there was something missing and I was looking for it in everything but God. Then he told me if I fall in love with Christ and put Him close to my life, I wouldn't notice the things my husband didn't give me. So I took that advice and I started a relationship with Jesus Christ and I began to fall in love with Him and I prayed to love my husband and only my husband. And now I see other men and I see nothing. I love my husband more than I ever have and I have God to thank for bringing love back into our lives, also have some saints to thank as well as I have asked a few to intercede for us. And they all came through! Praise Jesus!

~If you think another man or woman will give you what your husband or wife doesn't, YOUR WRONG, its Jesus Christ who fills the voids in your soul.
  The same comment from above can be applied here

~ When your thinking of all the reasons to divorce your husband/wife, stop and think of all the reasons you fell in love with them and the reasons you married them.
You didn't marry your spouse thinking one day you were going to divorce them did you? No, you didn't, you didn't marry them because you cant stand them. No, you married your spouse because you fell in love with them and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. All the time I thought of the reasons I wanted to divorce my husband, and I did this a lot. Until I found Jesus and started falling back in love with him, I don't think of the reasons to divorce him, but I think of everything he does that makes me love him more and more. My husband helps do laundry, he cleans house, he lets me sleep in on the weekends. And I'm a stay at home mom. You know how rare it is to find a man who helps out that much. He doesn't do it all the time, but he does do it frequently especially when he knows how run down I am from keeping the house spotless, chasing after the kids, slept horrible because one of them was sick, or when I'm sick. I am so lucky that I have a man that will help me out when I am really needing it.
   He tells me I'm beautiful all the time, more often when I don't have makeup on and I feel my worst. He has always done that. A lot of guys I have dated or talked to have always said I needed to change something about me, my hair should be a different color, I should be working out etc. Not once in the 7 years we have been together has my husband asked me to change a single thing about me. He always tells me I am perfect the way I am. I never realized it for so long.
    He has always supported my crazy work at home schemes, even putting money into all of them to help me get started, and when all of them didn't work out, he never complained about loosing the money. He just kept loving me and supporting each and every time I tried something new.
    My husband is the kind of man who brings me little surprises from the store, like a coke or a candy. He messages me on every break at work to tell me he loves me and it has always been that way the past 7 years. He gives me back scratches and foot rubs, he watches the kids, gives them baths and puts them to bed some nights so I can simply just relax take a bath or say my rosary or just do something for me.
   And all the times I thought of divorcing him and thinking of why I should, I never stopped to think of the MANY things he does for me. Thank goodness I never made the decision to let him go. I know there will never be another man who loves me for me, who will stand by me through all my crazy shenanigans.

~ Always make God the center of your LIVES & MARRIAGE.
   Look, without God we are nothing. And without God being the root of your marriage, it will not work. You have to be on the same page, God needs to be the first in each of your lives separate, and each of your lives together. Otherwise it will be a constant battle. I know because my husband and I fought for years, screamed and hollered and broke up, split up. Years of unhappiness and the moment we put God into our lives, life became happy for us again, we found love, happiness, playfulness, laughter. Things I haven't seen between us since we first started dating. It's amazing to have that pure happiness again. And it was all possible with God.
And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." ~ Matthew 19:26

~  If a man or woman knows your married, yet continues to feed you complements and makes it sound okay to be "chummy"....Just turn around and WALK AWAY!
   One of the many times my husband and I were split up, I found myself becoming friendly with another guy, just talked to and all that, and he knew I was married, but yet he always fed me complements and told me I needed better. And then I realized what was happening and before it went to far, I JUST WALKED AWAY. I already made that mistake once and I was not going to do it again. Even if I was split up from my husband, I was still married and I did not want be that person again. Once a cheater always a cheater is NOT true, I am proof, because I simply said NO. Any one can change, you just have make the decision and stick to it.

~ It takes TWO to make a marriage work, a marriage will fail if you both aren't willing to do the work and carry each your load.
   I don't care who you are and what you think, one person can not make a marriage work by themselves. You BOTH need to be willing to carry your own load and do your part. Marriage isn't easy and if each of you don't put hard work into it to keep it going then it will fail. One person cannot not do it alone.

~ Don't point out your spouses flaws to others especially your family, it will only point out a negative character in their eyes and when you give praise about your spouse, it will go right over their heads and they wont even hear it, they will be stuck on that negative persona you have built up for them.
   Been there done that, I always told my family every negative thing that went on in my relationship with my husband. And pointed out EVERY flaw I saw, so they began to dislike him. So when I want to sing praises on my husband and how amazing he is, and how far he has come. They don't want to hear it, because their stuck on the negative persona I gave him, and they're wrong for it, anyone can change.

~ Don't constantly tell your spouse their flaws over and over, it doesn't do either of you good.
    Telling your spouse what you can't stand about them, or what they're not doing right, is just asking for trouble. What your really suppose to do is just love them no matter what and encourage them.

~ The ONLY person your allowed to tell your spouses flaws to is GOD, because He already knows!
   If you really feel the need to tell someone about your spouses flaws, just tell God, for starters He already knows, and He wants you to talk to him anyway. So just let it all out to God, He's the one person who wont give you bad advice or try to feed you negative thoughts. He might not say anything back, but He listens more than a lot of people who will let it go in one ear and out the other and nod their heads and say oh well you don't need that. God will help you.

~ You have the power to Pray for your spouse, and God has the power to help them with whatever negative traits they have... IT WORKS!!
   This is truer than the color of the hair on my head!! Your spouse has flaws? Pray for them, pray for them to change for the good, don't just pray once and think that's it, continuously pray for them and in time you will see a change. You have this amazing power that is called prayer and you should use it ALL the time! Just remember everything is IN GOD'S TIMING, if something doesn't happen right away, its because God is waiting for the right moment. Just keep having faith and persistent prayers.

~ No matter what the situation is, no matter whose fault you think its is, DONT SAY IT, Just tell them you love them no matter what and you will always be there.
   Look we all go through times where you want to point blame for bad things that happen. But to be in a marriage is to love unconditionally, for better or for worse! So when the worse come along, you stand by your spouse to be their rock, don't point the blame and then walk away, what kind of person would you be? You just tell them no matter what that you love them, you are always their, and its worth 10x more than saying its your fault deal with it. (Jesus would be highly upset with you)

~If you have a wondering eye.. Fix it on Jesus Christ not on someone else!!
    Need I say more?
~ Marriage is NOT based on fairy tales, sorry to burst your bubble
   Oh goodness if we don't ever see those amazing Love movies, where at the end we are like "I just want a love like that". Remember its a movie, its not real, even the true story ones don't happen for everyone. That's not how marriage works, you got to go through hell and back to achieve that great Love.

~Marriage is NOT SUPPOSE TO BE EASY, who ever told you that is suppose to be is either divorced or single.
   Enough said!

~*VERY IMPORTANT*~
If you are NOT willing to do your part, carry your load, take responsibility for your wrong actions (because sorry no one is perfect)... YOUR NOT READY TO BE MARRIED.
    Truth! I mean really, if you go into a marriage expecting to do no work at all. Well its I'm sorry to say you should NOT be getting married!

~ If you want a divorce because things aren't working out... WORK HARDER.. QUIT BEING LAZY.
   Hard Truth right here, seriously if you try to kid yourself or someone else by saying its not working out, your just not working hard enough. That's called being LAZY, sorry to say it, giving up when the tough gets going is being a coward. I would know because I always ran when things got hard, I am a runner, and I'm okay to admit it, because I tell God that I'm ready to hang up my running shoes. I Love my husband, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I don't want to be lazy!

~ EVERYONE has the power to change, NO BODY is hopeless in the eyes of God, give your spouse some slack if their not living up to your standards and start praying for them and yourselves.
    Your not perfect, your spouse isn't perfect, But God is, and He will help you, your spouse, and your marriage if you just ask of Him. Don't throw it away the first chance you think of it, fight for it. Fight for it the way Jesus fought and died to save you!

   I can promise my husband and I have been through hell and back, a lot of things you wouldn't believe. Shoot By all accounts we should have been long divorced by now, no body understood why I stayed with him and why he stayed with me for a lot of things we did to each other and not even knowing the half of it (your mouth would hang open if I told them all to you).
   Truth is my husband and I love with a love like no other, its NOT a fairy tell love, but its a I will die for you, I will pray for you, fight for you till the very last breath I take kind of love. We have been on that divorce road a one to many times, yet we STILL fought for it. Its because we have a Raw love, we love everything even the flaws about each other.

~ Were two imperfect people who have a perfect God on our side~

My Day Started Off with Tears and Will end in Tears.

    My Rosary I love so much broke into so many pieces, Carter (my two year old wild thing) got to it while I was getting ready for the day. I didn't get mad or fuss or spank because I left to where he could get to it without thinking twice, I should know better he is two years old for crying out loud, I just cried and cried. And of course I was heart broken and thought well this day just sucks... Little did I know what was about to happen to me

 

   This morning I was in the store shopping for some simple ingredients to make a cake this weekend. Down the baking isle I saw this little old lady on a one of those electric carts. She looked like she was having a hard time getting what she needed, so I offered help to get her something off the shelf, she was so appreciative. I kept on walking but I kept on looking back at her, I have to admit I spied on her for a few minutes and she just looked so lost. And I never do things like this, I will offer help to someone that needs it but I will keep moving on, but I just couldn't help myself I had to go back and see if she needed more help. I could tell she needed help, she had no one around to help her, so I told her I had no plans for the day, that I would love to help her finish shopping it was the least I could do for her.

   I did notice however she could not talk, all it sounded like was baby talk. She handed me her grocery list which look like a toddler wrote out, so I knew something was off. All the while we were shopping she kept telling me she loved me that's about all it seems she could say. Struck with so much compassion for this woman and seeing how thankful she was for the help, I just told her I loved her to. Didn't matter if I didn't know her I still loved her.

    As we were going down the isle to get the last of what she needed and it was so hard to interpret what she was saying but some how we worked it out. Her electric cart battery started to die, and her basket was getting so full, so I put the rest of her groceries in my cart, and I walked with her to a check out line, I helped her check out and put all her groceries in my cart and walked her to her car. I loaded them in her trunk and I asked if she had anyone to help her unload this at home. Looking at me with sorrow and tears in her eyes she shook her head and mumbled no. Pain struck my heart, I couldn't let this woman go home and have no way to unload her groceries. So I told her to sit tight and I will return her cart and bring my car around and follow her home and I will unload her groceries. As I brought the cart to the door greeter she informed me that while she didn't know the woman personally she said she knows her from the store, and she believes she had a stroke (would be the reason she cant talk normal) and that she had no one she knows of to take care of her. A whole knew pain came over me and I wanted to cry so hard. But I pushed back the tears and went got my car and pulled it around and told her to lead the way. I followed her to the next town, couldn't believe she drove that far. Got to her house and unloaded her groceries and she excitedly showed me her lovely home. Which from Pictures I could tell she has one son and I am assuming her spouse is deceased.

     The whole time we unloaded groceries she kept hugging me so tightly and telling me she loved me. I could just see the appreciation in her eyes, and she signaled me to write my name and number on a not pad. So I did, and I told her to call me any time she needed something especially when she needed to go shopping. In that moment she began to cry and hugged me again so tightly and of course told me she loved me so much.

 

   I cant tell you why God brought me to this woman, I haven't figured it out myself, but I promised her I would not just leave her and not come back. I made myself a promise today, to visit that woman once a week from now on. No one should be left alone, the amount of love that woman has is amazing. And the sheer fact she cannot say anything but the one thing she can say is I love you says so much. I feel like I looked into the eyes of Jesus today, and a day that started off in tears will end in tears only tears of joy.

 

I thought my day started off bad, can you imagine waking up, with limited ability to talk or communicate with others, not to mention having no one to help you. Some where out there someone always has it worse. But I am so thankful that God brought this woman in my life, for whatever reason I am humbled by it.

Verse of the Day

⁷ He is not afraid of bad news;
    his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
⁸ His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
    until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

~Psalm 112:7-8~

 

Or We Protecting Our Children Or Condeming and Hurting Others?

   Okay so today I have noticed on the social media main stream this article floating around, on how this mother wrote FYI ( If you're a teenage girl ) and I will repost what she wrote and then the link to it so you can see her pictures (which I don't agree with at all) and tell you my views on it because its chapping my behind because maybe she just doesn't understand the reasons why some girls do what they do. And I know not everyone will agree with what I say, and that's just life. I just want to shed some light on the situation from my point of view.

 

 

Dear girls,

I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.

We have teenage sons, and so naturally there are quite a few pictures of you lovely ladies to wade through. Wow – you sure took a bunch of selfies in your pajamas this summer!  Your bedrooms are so cute! Our eight-year-old daughter brought this to our attention, because with three older brothers who have rooms that smell like stinky cheese, she notices girly details like that.

I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.

I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.

So, here’s the bit that I think is important for you to realize.  If you are friends with a Hall boy on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter, then you are friends with the whole Hall family.

Please understand this, also: we genuinely like keeping up with you. We enjoy seeing life through your unique and colorful lens – which is what makes your latest self-portrait so extremely unfortunate.

Those posts don’t reflect who you are! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it?  You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you?

Neither do we.

And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent.  If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our on-line island.

I know that sounds harsh and old-school, but that’s just the way it is under this roof for a while. We hope to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.

Every day I pray for the women my boys will love.  I hope they will be drawn to real beauties, the kind of women who will leave them better people in the end. I also pray that my sons will be worthy of this kind of woman, that they will be patient – and act honorably – while they wait for her.

Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an on-line mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down  anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom.

Will you trust me? There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy.

You are growing into a real beauty, inside and out.

Act like her, speak like her, post like her.

I’m glad we’re friends.

Mrs. Hall

 And here is the link:FYI (if you're a teenage girl)

 

  

  Okay while I'm rubbing my temples here, let me just say, I am a young mother, maybe not as experienced as this mother, but I have two small boys and they will be teenagers one day. And while I know as mothers we try so hard to protect out children, you cannot protect them forever and from everything. I applaud what you are trying to do, but you are bashing and degrading these teenage girls and you don't know the reasons they are acting in this way. You don't know what's going on behind these pictures.

 

   Not to long ago I was one of these so called "teenage girls." Look I understand what you are trying to say here, and I agree its so important to respect yourself as a woman. But let me tell you how I came to be one of these girls.

   Most of my life and still to this day, in fact I heard it the other day. I have always been told I was the "accident child" that my parents were trying to avoid having another child and then I came along. And then I always heard how my little sister was the "Miracle Child" because my mother had her tubes cut, tied, and burned, and she said I was playing on the floor one day by myself and she told my dad that they should have had one more for me to have someone to play with. (I have three older siblings but there is a 8,9,&10 year age gap between us) And so my mother said God must have heard her because shortly after she got pregnant, some how her tubes grew back together. So I spent most of my life hearing and like I said I still hear it to this day, that I was the accident, and my sister ran around saying she was the miracle baby and she still says it to this day.

    I spent half my life walking this earth thinking that I was a big mistake, there have been times I wondered why was I even bothered to be put here? On top of that I never had the sex talk, I didn't have a good relationship with my parents at all. In fact I dressed inappropriately and carried myself in a manner that caused me to be deemed "easy" when I was in high school. I had rumors going around about me having sex before I even lost my virginity, it was all in the way I presented myself. But this is why, instead of trying to talk to me or teach me how important it was to respect myself and my body, I was told that I dressed like a whore, I act like a whore, so instead of trying to find the root of my problems, I just had something pinned on me, thus I turned around and I just acted that way until eventually I became easy.

    All the while I know that was not the intentions but pushing to much will make a person do the exact thing you are pushing to much on.

    I became a horrible person as I grew up, and I did NOT respect myself. I kept looking for someone just anyone to love me and care for me. So I gave myself to guy after guy, kept trying to attract attention by dressing provocatively and acting flirty. I was also horrible and mean, I caused so much hurt and pain to people, number one being my little sister, because I thought she was that perfect child, the "miracle baby" she was the one good kid out of all of us, and I was the mistake, so I basically made it my life's mission to ruin her life and her positivity. And what I ended up doing was ruining myself, I ended up moving out of my parents home at 16 just before I turned 17, moved in with some people that took me in, moved to a new school and started new. It took a while to get out of my old habits but I'm so proud to say through the grace of God, He found me and turned my life around for the better. Now I hope to help others. I don't want anyone to have to live with the hurt and pain I went through. I don't want girls to act like I did because they are looking for some one to love them. When all the while there is one man who will love them for who they are, Jesus Christ.
  
   My point in this is take it from the person who was one of "those girls." A lot of it has to do with the way you are raised, loved by your parents, talked to. A lot of these girls have hidden issues that no one sees, people see the mirror image and make an assumption.
   These teenage girls are living in a world that rewards and praises women who act and dress provocatively. Sex sells right now and its a horrible and true thing. Teenage girls who aren't getting the wholesome love and teachings on how to be a lady are looking to the wrong people for inspiration. How I wish I would have been different, had different people I looked up to. How I wish I would have known about the love of Christ and how important it was to God for me to show myself in a manner that made him proud and showed respect for myself.
  
   But this woman here seems to be ONLY pointing it out towards girls. This makes me so mad because guys do the same. I know they say men are more "visual" but I am sorry I have heard it from the mouths of women myself how they think this man looks so good, has a hot body and talk inappropriately of a man with no shirt on and strutting his stuff. Just because he is a male doesn't make it any more okay. Boys and Girls equally need to be taught about respect. Please stop pin pointing out just the girls.
    What my biggest issue is, you are judging these girls without knowing first hand why they are acting this way. You do not know their reasons for putting themselves out there in this way. Some of them, more than likely more than half of them, are acting this way because they are having their own issues that they are keeping inside. These girls need a good role model, someone to sit there and listen to them and try and help them. If they don't take the advice, then go ahead delete them, but do you realize you can delete them from your sons social media, but you can not delete them from the real world.
   These girls are all over the place, your boys will see them outside of social media, sorry to burst your bubble. You can not protect them forever, and honestly sitting here and trying to tell a girl what to do is just going to make her turn around and do the exact opposite. Take it from an expert!
    Your boys will run into these girls no matter where they are, and so will your daughter for that fact, she will run into these types of boys. How long do you think you can go through your sons social media and tell him who he should delete? I do hope that he takes it upon himself to do this without you telling him who he should and should not be friends with. But I also would hope that maybe they see someone who might have an underlying story, a cry for help and maybe be a good role model for them, not just push them away because they don't meet your standards.

   Look one day my two boys will be teenagers and I hope that when that time comes I have provided them with enough information to show them how to respect themselves and how to respect women, all the while also showing them that if something isn't right about someone, if it seems that there is another teen that is in trouble, that needs some uplifting, that needs to be taught how to respect them selves, I would hope they would either take them under their wing, show them the way, or find them some help, be it they say hey mom I have a friend whose acting in a way that isn't really respectful to themselves, I think they may need a good role model or some one to listen to them. Is that not so hard to teach also, rather then saying they don't act in a way that I like for you to see, you need to delete them.
   And like I said, I applaud what you are trying to do, your intentions, you seem like a close tightknit family and that is amazing. But degrading these girls, making them feel like they are worthless,  saying put on more clothes or your deleted, and all the while you have pictures of your boys in bathing suits in the same posts?? That I'm so sorry is so hypocritical.
   And do you know by telling these girls to put on more clothes or they will be deleted your kind of telling them they are not good enough for decent guys, thus they will constantly look for love in the wrong guys because they feel like they don't deserve a decent guy to be with. Shame on you for that. You have no right to do that to another person, how would you feel if there was a parent out there saying something towards your children that made them feel less then what they are? Its not a nice thought to think about. It pains me right now when my oldest son comes home from kindergarten and tells me he's being bullied or a friend made him feel bad. I constantly remind him how we must be nice to everyone because its not a good feeling when someone is mean to us, therefore we shouldn't make other people feel that way. And yes were only human we make mistakes but hopefully we have good family to teach us better, to teach us to uplift and take those on the broken path and put them on the path of righteousness with us. Not throw them away like trash.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
~Luke 10:27

³⁰ In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹ A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³² So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. ³³ But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴ He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two denarii^[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
³⁶ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
³⁷ The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
~Luke 10:30-37

~Teach your children how to be good Samaritans~

 

"It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men."
~Frederick Douglass

 

 

Meditations From a Simple Path

 

If you are searching for God and do not know where to begin, learn to pray and take the trouble to pray every day. You can pray anytime, anywhere. You can pray at work - work doesn't have to stop prayer and prayer doesn't have to stop work. Tell Him everything, talk to Him. He is our Father, He is Father to us all whatever religion we are. We are all created by God, we are His children. We have to put our trust in Him and love Him, believe in Him, work for Him. And if we pray, we will get all the answers we need.

~Mother Teresa

Humanity's Destiny

 

Humanity's destiny is written in the heart and mind of God, who directs the course of history. The Father puts in our hands the task of beginning to build here on earth the Kingdom of heaven that the Son came to announce and which will find its fulfillment at the end of time.

~Blessed John Paul II

Lessons For Living ~ A HIDDEN TREASURE, AN OPEN BOOK

Lord, reveal to all of us the interior world of the soul, the hidden treasure within us, the luminous castle of God. Make the exterior world preserve the imprint of the Creator, and may it be an open book that speaks to us of God.
~Blessed John Paul II

 

 

 

You can get the book Lessons for Living Blessed John Paul II @ Amazon.com

 



Meditation From Mother Teresa

I always begin my prayer in silence, for it is in the silence of the heart that God speaks. God is the friend of silence - we need to listen to God because it's not what we say but what He says to us and through us that matters. Prayer feeds the soul - as blood is to the body, prayer is to the soul - and it brings you closer to God. It also gives you a clean and pure heart. A clean heart can see God, can speak to God, and can see the love of God in others
~ Mother Teresa

You can find the book Mother Teresa Meditations From A Simple Path @ Amazon.com

Why The Devil Attacks Us

Okay so it has been a while since I have posted, we have been going through a rough patch here at home. And as I pondered all the things that have been going on, all the negativity that was being thrown our way, I knew of course there is a lesson in everything that is going on, God allows things to happen to us so we can learn from them.

 

   I have been in a very sort of stand still in my Faith life, my prayer routine had been becoming more of a drag and I noticed I hadn't been saying all the normal prayers like I was doing. It was almost as if I was at a fork in the road on the path God wants me to take, and as if I was looking at signs that was saying short cut, or detour and I was just stuck. I finally today wrote to my Heavenly Father and said you know Lord, I don't want to take a short cut, I don't want a detour, I want to pass all the signs up and keep on going down this path no matter how long it takes to get where You want me to go. Just please keep leading my by the hand, I love the lessons God teaches me even if in the moment of the lesson I am not very fond of it. Every little thing even the sufferings and hard times are worth it.

     It all started I guess a few weeks to about a month ago, I noticed that things were slowing down in our spiritual life, and my husband and I do not have our marriage blessed and we have been discussing it here and there, and as a result we cannot receive communion in the catholic church, and for some odd reason we kept putting it off. Well I finally decided just to go make an appointment with our church parish's priest, I don't know why I didn't do it sooner he is a wonderful man to be around. Anyways when my husband and I made the decision, made the appointment and said "ITS TIME" this is our next step to growing closer to God, He needs to be in our marriage the right way.

    Well oh boy if the that didn't tick off the devil, see anytime you make a RIGHT decision, or choose the right step on your path, anything that gets you closer to the Lord, red flags go up for the devil, and he will come at you with a force like no other. It started off with health issues, and physical pain like something happened to my back, I don't know what but I was physically hurting to the point I could not walk, and I was having other pains. And it just happened over night, this went on for about a week before things got better, this was right before we met with the priest, and wouldn't you know I went to the Dr. the same day as we were suppose to meet with the priest still hurting but wasn't not going to miss this appointment. And well I'll be if I didn't walk out that meeting and look at my husband in disbelief and said my back feels A LOT better when we left the rectory. It was because I did not let the devil keep me from our meeting, I did not let him cause enough physical pain to me to stop me from moving forward.

    After that my husband and I each caught a bug, funny though our two children never caught this bug, and normally in our house hold once one of us gets sick it goes through all four of us, but I am so very glad that they did not get sick. But we both stayed down for a week. Right after I finished the bug, I caught this horrible migraine as to the point my husband got to work in the morning and had to turn around and leave on his first break to come home to take care of the kids so I could go lay in a dark room. And that is a big deal for him to leave work since he is the only working one in our marriage and I am a stay at home mom, we need that money. He had already missed a day of work from being down with the bug and had to miss another at the end of the week to come and take care of me. I am so very thankful to him though, he is an amazing husband and father.

    Of course shortly after that, we had a good weekend still recovering from the bug, but on the Monday I was so excited I was praising Jesus for finally feeling better and I could get back into my art studio and start working on some paintings. Well 2 days later I caught the bug AGAIN only 10x worse. So I think our and my health especially was down for 3 weeks in total, it was NOT very fun but I knew it was the devil throwing his all at us. And I hope that we passed in the eyes of the Lord, I only missed mass once out of the 3 weeks and it was because my back was so bad off I could hardly get out of bed and walk down the hall in our house. But I made sure to go the other times even if I had to run out of church from being sick, I was not missing another mass. The devil will try, oh he will try big time, you just have to learn to deal with the sufferings and remember to ALWAYS offer it up, offer it for the poor souls in purgatory or someone in need of a conversion. I try to remember this so anytime something is wrong, physically, health wise I try to remember to offer it up and join it to the cross of Jesus.

 

   Now my husband and I are still waiting on news from our priest about when we will be blessing our marriage but we are waiting patiently he is a very busy person and I think this whole month of September he will barely be around so I know patience is a virtue, but we took the right steps and now its time to wait.

    I have notice though the devil is not finished with us and he has been causing a lot of problems in our marriage now, but we are praying and praying, we know God will raise us up out of the hard times. "For better or for worse."

 

   I had also been asking God to give me a push out of my slump, I knew my faith and my prayer life needed a push, I still said my daily rosary but I just kept feeling so down and just in a slump, but I prayed and kept on going.

   One day a girl I knew from high school messaged me, we weren't friends at all in school but we just know each other from there, she was overdue on her pregnancy and the Dr.'s were concerned she was not making progress, she told me she was scared and asked because she knew I was close to God she asked me to pray for her. I felt so amazingly honored for someone I really don't know much about, just going to school together would ask me to pray for them. I knew this was the push God was giving me because I just was completely humbled and I cried tears of joy to know, that I am leaving a mark on people and I'm not the one leaving the mark on them Jesus is, what He is doing for me and my life. The whole gist of what I have been trying to do by helping spread God's word or try and get more people to build a deep relationship with the Father. It showed me people are actually listening and it made me so happy that I just could not contain my tears of joy.

 

    And of course because I have made more of an effort to write in my prayer journal daily, to praise God daily for all that I have, to say prayers through out the day, and always saying my rosary of course, but I also started saying a Divine Chaplet of Mercy and a Chaplet of Reparation not to mention I have started back on saying prayers out of my spiritual warfare book, I have been reading scripture again and reading back into my religious books. And praying for others as well. I feel so much better, I am so thankful that the Lord looked upon me and heard my prayers and gave me the push I was asking for. I love God so much because He cares so much for me and He takes such wonderful watch and care over me. He is an amazing Father and I am so blessed by Him everyday.

   

    But with the good comes the bad, you know a lot of times we have some activity go on in the house with noises and knowing when there is an unwelcome presence in the house. However, things have been pretty quiet but I really think it is because we were just in this slump and the devil was kind of happy that we weren't progressing, but we have been picking up the pace and making efforts to keep on getting closer to our Lord God.

    Just recently my husband had fell asleep right before me and he is quit the hard sleeper, so I was settling down for bed, and right when I laid down I closed my eyes for a few seconds and heard this loud bang in the house that sounded like it came from right by our bedroom in the hallway, I jumped it was so loud, I didn't see anything so I laid back down, and an all to familiar feeling came over me, my heart began to race and I became sick feeling, I can always tell when there is an unwanted presence in the house, I immediately went into prayer mode, saying my St. Michael prayer over and over amongst other prayers. And then I could hear as if someone was walking in our house and then in our bedroom and I was so scared to open my eyes, but I kept praying but it felt and sounded as if someone was walking around in our bedroom and around our bed, and felt like someone was standing over our bed watching us, look it was so scary I thought for a brief second that my husband left the door unlocked and someone got into our house. So I braved it and opened my eyes and looked up but of course nothing was there, closed my eyes again and there it went again as if someone was walking around our bed. It was one of the scariest feelings because I have always just heard noises, I never actually heard footsteps or the sound of a physical person in my house I mean I swear I could hear them breathing.

    Eventually through the power of prayer I was able to get to sleep. The next morning I was nervous to talk to my husband about it because I know he believes me but when you say it out loud you know you sound crazy so its hard to speak about. But I'm glad that I did tell him because he said he woke up in the middle of the night and heard what sounded like someone walking through our house and then our front door close shut.

 

   Explain that one right. I mean to an average person whose eyes have not been open to the unseen they would think you are crazy, but to the person who has experienced it first hand they will tell you it is the devil trying to scare you. He wants you to give up your persistent prayer and persistent relationship with God. So he will do whatever he can to throw you off the righteous path and if the first attempts don't work he will get more scarier and make life harder. But just remember Jesus had to go through hell and back to save us and to sit at the right hand of the Father. We now need to suffer willingly and keep on the path the Father has laid out for each and every one of us so we can be with Him and praise Him in Heaven for all eternity.

Smile it could always be Worse!

Sometimes life gets hard, like it really gets hard, and your not sure how to keep going.

But you know what Jesus DIED, and that man STILL kept on going and kept on living.

I know we go through things other people wont understand, or we have those days when everything possible seems to go wrong and you can't even get mad you just cry.

But the next day, when your oh say standing at the kitchen... sink with that heart ache from yesterday creeping up again, just close your eyes and tell God you trust him.

I trust you Lord, I know you know what your doing, and I know I have to go through this for a reason. I may not understand it today, or tomorrow but one day I will, and if I can get through this without being angry or freaking out like normal, if I have to just cry through it because I don't know what else to do and I refuse to get angry or scream and holler. Then I'll just cry because at the end of the day those tears saved me from doing and saying things I would regret later.

God is always here through the good AND the bad, even though it seems He is MIA when those bad times hit, He's actually closer than ever and He's waiting for us to fall into His lap and let it all out so He can do something even bigger for us.

All He wants you to do is trust in Him. And sometimes He will test your faith and test how much you trust Him. He is our greatest Teacher.

 

 

   Sometimes we don't understand why God allows us to go through the things we do. I had one of those days Wednesday where seriously everything went wrong, I literally felt like God was letting the devil attack me over and over. I mean all the way up until I went to bed things just kept going wrong, it was almost like a bad movie and I was like seriously?? And all I wanted to do all day was just scream and holler and throw things. But instead I cried and I mean I cried hard because I didn't know what else to do, I cried so hard I didn't want to have the strength to get angry or want to scream. I cried while praying my rosary, I cried myself to sleep. But as I said all those tears saved me from doing and saying things I would regret, and I feel like in some areas I passed a major test. And it feels good now. Yesterday I just cleaned house, I kept myself busy all day so I wouldn't have time to think of the day before and everything that happened, and I prayed as I went, and I survived the day.

  Today I am back to normal, and life is going on as usual, I am a mother and a wife, and  I cannot take time out to feel sorry for myself for anything. It was hard for me not to sit around and mope yesterday because that's what I would normally do. I give full credit to God and my amazing guardian angel for keeping me going, and today I feel stronger and everything that happened is much easier to let go of, say it is what it is and now I keep on going. That's not something that's easy for me to do, that's why I have to give all the credit to God and my guardian angel, also my awesome Blessed Mother, without them I wouldn't be able to do it. But I asked them for comfort and for strength and they gave it to me. How lucky I am to have that relationship with them, to know I can ask for their help and they will come to me.

The devil is a good Con Artist

  So when we are really flying high in Jesus. Like when we feel our best, the devil always likes to rain on our parade. I mean he just sucks ha.

 

 

   It has been a good little while since I last posted so I have quit a bit to catch up on. For starters the devil has been quit the con artist around our house, and just trying to scare us for sure. But I'm so done with it, its not worth it letting him scare you all your life. You can either let him chase you around all your life, letting him scare you to the point where you play it safe, or try and run from your problems and let your past or bad decisions rule you and make you miserable.

   Or you can stop on your heel, completely give your self to God, turn around face the devil face to face and tell him he made a big mistake and he better start running. You have that choice, don't ever let the devil make you think you are too far gone, or you have done something to bad to have God turn it around. He does that to me all the time, and I realized yea I did a whole lot of bad in my past. I am NOT the same as I once was, and yea people can try and make you feel like you'll never be more than who you use to be, and that's not true. You don't have to prove that you are changed because then your just miserable trying and trying. Know that you are different, know that you have turned your life around and don't give them or the devil the pleasure in making you feel otherwise. A very special woman in my life is teaching me that, just live your life and be happy, let people think what they think, if you keep trying and trying to get them to see you changed the more they wont, just stop trying live your life knowing your better and maybe one day they will open their eyes and see. If not oh well, their loss not yours. Your happy and their still miserable.

    The devil always tries to make me feel like I could never be more than who I was and uses a lot of people to make me feel that way, or that I don't deserve a happy life and future even if God keeps tying to give me that. I keep rejecting it sometimes because well just like I said I feel like I don't feel like I deserve it or how could he still love me after some of the things I did. I was just mean and horrible and the devil sure likes to remind me of a lot of those bad memories to try and knock me down. But God is always there to pick me back up and keep giving me a push because He forgives me and He loves me, and that in itself should be all I need.

    No body in my life has ever been permanent, people have come and gone and never stayed. Even family, I'm not close to anyone in my family no more and a lot of times it gets to me because they were all I knew. My kids are like the only two that I know is permanent and that's all I know. Even my husband, he was always permanent and he always tried to show me, and it freaked me out, it still does, I can't tell you how many times I packed my bags and was on my way out the door and I STILL DO IT, why because I always think I can't have anyone permanent in my life, that no one is here to stay, so I run and I run. But the one thing my husband did was ALWAYS chase after me, he never let me run to far he always came to get me. Even when I was just mean and horrible to him he didn't care, even the many times we split up, he didn't care what I did he STILL loved me through it.

   7 years my husband and I have been together and 7 years of running and hurting him, he still stayed and he still loved me. And I am JUST now seeing it. I am so lucky to have a man who loves me for all that I am. Every guy that has walked in and out my house always asked me to change myself in some way, to do this, do that, you would look better like this. My husband has NEVER once asked me to do anything to change my self. I always ask his opinion like hair color or clothes to wear because I want to please him or I don't want to look in a way that would make him want to change me. But the thing is he doesn't care, he's like it don't matter to me, and he always tells me I'm beautiful more times when I don't wear makeup, and I'm like hello do you see me I look pretty fonky with no makeup just saying. But it doesn't matter to him. And so I'm not used to that. He really loves me for me and doesn't ask me to change not even the color on my toes. And so to me I think some thing is wrong with him because he wouldn't change anything about me. But its because he's permanent he's not going anywhere and I'm not used of that. I keep expecting him to just leave or walk out of  my life like every other person. So it makes it hard for me to accept him to stay and accept his love. But with the grace of God and His constant love and support, He is teaching me not to run any more.

   One day not to long ago I was ready to pack my bags yet again and I was sitting at my kitchen table and I has a flash back of this moment of when me and my husband were dating and I was walking out on him and it was raining or drizzling and we were fighting and I was in my car leaving, and in the rear view mirror, there he was on his knees in the rain crying. And I don't know how I remembered that moment, but I know in my heart that was God reminding me of some of the moments that made an impact on our relationship. And I remember how much I hate seeing my husband cry, all I want for him to be is happy because he had a rough life too, and I tend to forget it. But the thing is what he wants to be happy is me, and I never thought I could mean that much to some one. And I remember I was down the road and I just turned around and went back. Because that's where my heart lies is with my husband, the man that God made for me and intended me to be with. And He often likes to remind me of the things I forget about. I'm very grateful for that, because we are still together and still fighting. 7 years of fighting for this relationship and we are finally starting to have that blissfully happy relationship. And it all started with putting God front and center of our lives. My husband and I now hold hands at night and pray together, it has made such an amazing impact on our lives. But I know now, that my husband is permanent and I really need to quit running, even if he comes after me every time. I can't run from my problems any more, or run when I get scared. I need to turn around and face the devil and tell him he better start running because he just messed with the wrong woman.

   

   I live my life for God now and there is no one or nothing that will take that away from me. No one can take the love my Heavenly Father has shown me or the blessings He has given me. As long as I trust in the Lord and give Him my everything, He will guide me and help me to stand strong and tell the devil, ohh no buddy not this time!

One of God's Divine Intervention's

   So I have kind of been out of sorts since last week. I'm going to just start from the beginning. So last Tuesday my husband and I randomly decided that morning that we were going to get a puppy. Like Decided this and that afternoon it was delivered to us. It just needed a good home.
   Let me tell you things like this are a big deal for me and need to be planned out like 6 months a head of time. And on the real my husband usually is like no its to expensive, which is true it is. And we just don't have that extra money. But I don't know for some reason we just did it. And so we got this puppy, well I told my husband that morning I was like we have a problem we don't have our old kennel that we got along time ago. But wasn't using it so we let a friend borrow it, so he said he was going to pop by after work on the way home and see if he could have it back.
   He didn't call or anything he was just going to swing by after work, well as he got closer to their house he notices a man walking down the street, and as he looked closer he noticed it was our friend that he was going to stop by. So he pulled over and told him to get in the car, turns out his friend was on his way to some ones house and had a gun on him. Like I don't even want to think what would have happened if he made it to where he was going. But in that moment my husband just happened to be going by and he had no idea my husband was going to stop by. But GOD put my husband in that moment at that exact time to stop him.

Do you see how awesome God is?? Like God had a plan all along, because I kept telling myself I don't know why we are getting this dog, we don't do random things like this. And it was all for a purpose, God needed my husband to be in that place at that time so he could stop his friend from making a huge mistake. My husband I hope feels so humble and so in awe that God would use him as one of His instruments. God is so amazing I don't know how to even begin to explain his wonders. But you can't, you just have to be mind blown.

~Total Divine Intervention~

Healing Letter Exercise

   Okay so I have been acknowledging lately things that happened in my life that have made me feel and do the things I have. So one of my biggest problems is that someone very close to me hurt me years ago. I'm just now going back to that part in my life, and realizing it has had such an effect on me these past years. It has hurt my relationship with my husband, and has hurt my trust in certain people.

   I know in my heart I need to find forgiveness because this is the ONE thing that is really blocking me and stopping me from really moving on in my life, in me and my husbands relationship. Its the biggest hurdle yet. I have been crying so much lately because I am finally opening up and acknowledging the hurt is has cause me, when I just tried to push it away. Now its back with a  vengeance and I am really just trying to live through it and find that forgiveness even though I don't know how. But I pray and I pray for it.

  One thing I came across in a prayer booklet I have is called a HEALING LETTER EXERCISE. So I thought this may be able to help me push past that hurt and pain and find forgiveness in my heart. I am willing to give it a try so I can move forward in my life. I hope others will try it as well. NO ONE deserves to live with a hurt and pain like this.

 

HEALING LETTER EXERCISE

 

1.    Spend some time in prayer and ask the Lord to bring up any unresolved emotional wounds that may be allowing evil to enter your life, or attack your health. If the Lord brings to mind some people who have hurt you, ask the Holy Spirit to bring back the fullness of your repressed emotions, so that you can be set free.
2.    After you identify a hurtful past even that needs healing, try to separate the situation from everything else that has happened to you. Instead of trying to work through years of emotional abuse at one time, try to isolate one experience and keep working on the situation until it is resolved.
3.    Begin the exercise from a prayerful and meditative state of mind. Find a quiet place where you can be alone with the Lord. Make sure you have plenty of tissues and the necessary writing supplies.
4.    Picture the person who hurt you in your imagination. Imagine that person can hear everything you are about to say. If the person is deceased, picture them in heaven standing next to Jesus.
5.    Begin writing your letter with the words, I am angry because you hurt me! Tell this person all the ways that he or she has hurt you by his or her careless and disrespectful actions. Keep writing the words I'm angry, over and over again. Don't worry about spelling or grammar; just release everything that needs to be said.
6.    After you vent all your anger, move on to any fears that you may have experienced. How has this person affected your life? Describe how the consequences of his or her careless actions have carried forward into your present -day relationships.
7.     After you vent any fears or guilty feelings, get in touch with your sadness. Tell this person what you wanted to happen that didn't. If you're writing to your father say, I'm sad because I wanted a better relationship with you. I wanted you to treat me like a beloved son or daughter. I wanted your love and support.
8.     Conclude your letter with anything else you need to say to this person, and then begin a new letter by picturing the person who hurt you in a completely healed state. Picture them in heaven standing next to Jesus. Imagine this person full of God's love and because they are full of God's love, allow them to offer you an apology.
9.     Start your apology letter by saying, I'm so sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Write down all the loving words that you need to hear.
10.     Conclude your apology letter with prayer. Release the person who hurt you into the Lord's hands. Ask Jesus to wash away any negativity that you may have picked up by accepting this person's abuse. Surrender this person to the Lord, and if appropriate, ask Jesus to break all unhealthy soul-ties.
11.     Allow Jesus to speak to you through a closure letter. Accept the Lord's love and forgiveness. Allow the Lord's love and forgiveness to flow into your hear and cleanse you of all curses, resentment and negativity.
12.     Ask the Lord to show you if there's anything else that you need to release. Allow yourself to fall into the Lord's arms and be permanently set free- free to be the child of God the Lord intended you to be.

 

 

I have been acknowledging all these hurtful feelings and I know when the time is right I will ask my husband to take the kids and bring them to play at the park or something so I can be alone with God and truly be able to get that hurt and pain out. This is something I need to do for me because I have been living in this torment for years and I have not been able to have a full relationship with my husband, and I have not been able to trust fully.

 

This person will never know the hurt and affect they caused me by their careless actions and disregard of my feelings and the effect they would have on my life. And I can't even be around them any more, hug them or look them in the eye. But I have been trying for so long to forgive and I need to find it so I can live my life to the fullest.

It's One Big Journey to Heaven

I was slipping, I was slipping so fast into the fires of hell,
The devil was my BFF, and he was just waiting for me with open arms.

Even though he was my bff, even through all the bad, I still prayed, with the little Faith I had. I said "God if you can hear me, help me, help me turn my life around. Help me to give this life up".

The something happened, My Dad (God) He grabbed me by the hand, a...nd He pulled me off of that path, because He loved me that much. Because I had just a smidgen of Faith, I had just a te tiny bit of Hope, He saved me.

He can do that for ANYONE, God never discriminates, He can save you if you ask Him.

I know that the Devil is mad and angry, why because I can feel it, every time I turn to God when he comes for me, I literally know how mad he is, because for some reason I can feel him get that mad, I know when he is ticked off.

God can save anyone, God has the power to pull you from the flames the way He did me.

I know this road is hard and long, and the more you believe and love God, the devil makes it THAT much harder. But because you believe at all, because you have that tiny bit of Faith and Hope. God will come for you, and He will beat the devil every time.

Do NOT think its an easy road, because it NEVER is, getting to heaven isn't about believing in God, just saying prayers and going to church...

No sir Its work, you have to actually spend time with God, build a relationship with him and keep Him front and center in your lives, it may seem like a lot of work, but trust me, you put God at the center of your life, He will put everything else in place for you.

If your having a hard time, STOP, stop everything you are doing, and just say God, help me, God turn this around for me.

He will, you just have to understand He does it in HIS own time, because He's building up something bigger and better for you.

And that my friend is the greatest gift from God.

Its HIS LOVE

A New Calling

Yesterday, I felt a whole new calling from God, Like I'm okay to tell people about my life story and all the things I did. I use to be so ashamed of that.

But now I know, I just have this passion in my heart, I have this huge passion to steer kids away from the path I took. I don't want other people living with the pain and the hurt that's in my heart. I don't want anyone searching there whole life for love and acceptance in all the wrong places.

It took me 24 years to find God the way I have now. It took me 24 years to find the Father I have been searching for and the Mother I always wanted.
I'm okay to know I don't have that relationship with my parents now God and Mary, they are my parents and I know they will never turn me away, they will always be hear to listen to me.

The devil can try and he can try, but he can never take that away from me. He cant take the relationship I have with my heavenly parents. I will never let them go!

And its not just kids, I want to help adults, I want to help fix the broken families and the broken marriages. It took me and my husband, 7 years of fighting for this relationship, and when God knew we needed it, he gave us 2 beautiful boys to keep us hanging on till we could find him. Our marriage did not get ANY kind of better until we accepted God in our lives. And now we share a whole new love for each other, an awesome love for Christ, and we have made new family and friends.

                I live my life for God now, and if I didn't then it would just be worthless.

{I love you Father, and I love you Mother, with all the love I know how to give I give it all to you}

How Do You Fix You?

   This morning I have never felt more alone. I know God is always here, but its so, so hard when you physically can't see Him.
  
This morning I had come to the realization that I am so messed up, I am seriously messed up, I did so many hurtful things and I have had so many hurtful things done to me in my life, that my heart is so full of pain. I don't know how to fix it, I keep crying out and hoping someone will just listen and tell me why I am so messed up. Who will listen to my whole story and tell me why I can't fully give love to people. Like I love my husband, but I'm so messed up that I can't fully love him the way he needs.
    Because of all this pain I have deep inside, I push it out on others number one being my husband because he doesn't understand. I don't know how to deal with it.
   I finally broke down this morning and I told God I just felt like I was meant to be alone, I don't want a darn shrink because they wont help me they will more than likely want to put me on depression medicine. THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED!!!! What I need is someone to sit in front of me and let me pour my heart out to them. And I know that's what God is for, like I said it makes it so hard when you can't see Him, we think He might be to busy with someone else. And that's never the case, but I know I try to cry out, and I want someone to just hear me. And I cry out to God but just because I can't hear Him when I really want to doesn't mean He's not listening to me. BUT ITS SO HARD TO SEE THAT!

    I love the Blessed Mother so much, I didn't have that relationship with my mother that I could tell my problems to and she would know what to say, so I always looked for a mother in everyone else, I looked to other peoples friends as mothers and I would hurt when I see how awesome their relationships would be. I never thought to turn to Mother Mary. She makes me feel so amazing, but again because I can't physically see her, it makes it so hard.
  
    I always want to talk to someone, like I just drop it here and there but I never know how to really say STOP I'M HURTING please just listen to me so I can get some relief. It's because I feel the need to help others so much, I want to listen to them so I can help them because I can't help myself. I feel like you know other people go through hard times as well, harder than me, so I SHUT DOWN, and I feel selfish for wanting to talk about my problems. So it's bottled inside of me and it builds up in my heart, so when I am truly happy, all that pain stomps on it the first chance it gets. Like op she's too happy lets do something about that.

   At this point like when I'm seriously realizing how messed up I am, I just feel like is there even a way to help myself? No joke a therapist will NOT help, because there all like, why do you think you feel this way, (all robotic like).. No cracker I KNOW why I feel this way, did you not just hear me tell you all the messed up crap I went through in my life, yet you gonna ask me why I think I feel this way. Therapist are trained to give you like scientific answers, and pretty much make you realize even more that your full of crazy, I don't want to know how crazy you think I am... I ALREADY KNOW THAT PART, I already know I got more issues than vogue magazine, plus you charge an ARM AND A LEG, for me to tell you my problems, I AM BROKE AS A JOKE, who are you kidding here.
   Are you going to really feel my pain, are you going to cry with me because you truly understand the pain and the hurt I'm going through. And for us broke people who can't afford a shrink, what do those broken people do?? Oh well you don't have enough to pay me sooo I can't help you.... THAT'S WHY I HATE THERAPIST!! Because if I want to listen to some one's problems for a living, I'm gonna go to those broken people who can't afford it because they need it more than anyone else in this world. I am going to go sit next to a homeless person and ask them to just pour there heart out to me. Because not one shrink thinks to do that? They don't see dollar signs ($$$$$) they not stopping.
     If there was such a shrink that really cared, that didn't care about the money.. PA LEASE come my way. Like I said I know how crazy I am, and its not even crazy, its just hurt and full of pain. I don't need medication, I need someone to show me the love I didn't have, someone to show me the love that I was ALWAYS looking for my life, but I didn't know how to find it, so I did poo do crazy things and still couldn't find it.

By the way the answer to all this is JUST TURN TO GOD

 

But because I don't have many friends and I don't know how to pour my heart out and go from beginning of my screw ups to end I'm going to just go on this huge rant till its all off my chest and I feel slightly better enough to tuck all the pain back in and go on with my life.

 

 

   Yes I poured my heart out to God this morning and I know He knows I need a little more than that, so I'm hoping He forgives me and understands and is patient with me while I figure out the part where I need to go from beginning to end so I can REALLY give it all to Him. Like I know He knows, but I also know He is waiting for me to break it down piece by piece and I need to really sit down and no joke go from like what age 12 where I think it all started. I don't know, I don't know where it all started... My childhood is starting to blur because of all the pain from my adolescent years to now, and I got that Alzheimer's memory (no joke I'll walk into a room and be like what did I come in here for or talking to my husband and say you know what.. wait I lost it??)

  

    So now I got some work to do, and in ranting I just figured it out, like I really need to start writing down everything that I did or what done to me and just try my best to start remembering so I can I don't know do what with those pages, put it in a balloon and release it to heaven?? I don't know yet, haven't figured that out, but I need to get started one day at a time.

  

 

Now I feel a slight bit better

Don't even care if you read it, just need to put it out there!