Healing Letter Exercise

   Okay so I have been acknowledging lately things that happened in my life that have made me feel and do the things I have. So one of my biggest problems is that someone very close to me hurt me years ago. I'm just now going back to that part in my life, and realizing it has had such an effect on me these past years. It has hurt my relationship with my husband, and has hurt my trust in certain people.

   I know in my heart I need to find forgiveness because this is the ONE thing that is really blocking me and stopping me from really moving on in my life, in me and my husbands relationship. Its the biggest hurdle yet. I have been crying so much lately because I am finally opening up and acknowledging the hurt is has cause me, when I just tried to push it away. Now its back with a  vengeance and I am really just trying to live through it and find that forgiveness even though I don't know how. But I pray and I pray for it.

  One thing I came across in a prayer booklet I have is called a HEALING LETTER EXERCISE. So I thought this may be able to help me push past that hurt and pain and find forgiveness in my heart. I am willing to give it a try so I can move forward in my life. I hope others will try it as well. NO ONE deserves to live with a hurt and pain like this.

 

HEALING LETTER EXERCISE

 

1.    Spend some time in prayer and ask the Lord to bring up any unresolved emotional wounds that may be allowing evil to enter your life, or attack your health. If the Lord brings to mind some people who have hurt you, ask the Holy Spirit to bring back the fullness of your repressed emotions, so that you can be set free.
2.    After you identify a hurtful past even that needs healing, try to separate the situation from everything else that has happened to you. Instead of trying to work through years of emotional abuse at one time, try to isolate one experience and keep working on the situation until it is resolved.
3.    Begin the exercise from a prayerful and meditative state of mind. Find a quiet place where you can be alone with the Lord. Make sure you have plenty of tissues and the necessary writing supplies.
4.    Picture the person who hurt you in your imagination. Imagine that person can hear everything you are about to say. If the person is deceased, picture them in heaven standing next to Jesus.
5.    Begin writing your letter with the words, I am angry because you hurt me! Tell this person all the ways that he or she has hurt you by his or her careless and disrespectful actions. Keep writing the words I'm angry, over and over again. Don't worry about spelling or grammar; just release everything that needs to be said.
6.    After you vent all your anger, move on to any fears that you may have experienced. How has this person affected your life? Describe how the consequences of his or her careless actions have carried forward into your present -day relationships.
7.     After you vent any fears or guilty feelings, get in touch with your sadness. Tell this person what you wanted to happen that didn't. If you're writing to your father say, I'm sad because I wanted a better relationship with you. I wanted you to treat me like a beloved son or daughter. I wanted your love and support.
8.     Conclude your letter with anything else you need to say to this person, and then begin a new letter by picturing the person who hurt you in a completely healed state. Picture them in heaven standing next to Jesus. Imagine this person full of God's love and because they are full of God's love, allow them to offer you an apology.
9.     Start your apology letter by saying, I'm so sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Write down all the loving words that you need to hear.
10.     Conclude your apology letter with prayer. Release the person who hurt you into the Lord's hands. Ask Jesus to wash away any negativity that you may have picked up by accepting this person's abuse. Surrender this person to the Lord, and if appropriate, ask Jesus to break all unhealthy soul-ties.
11.     Allow Jesus to speak to you through a closure letter. Accept the Lord's love and forgiveness. Allow the Lord's love and forgiveness to flow into your hear and cleanse you of all curses, resentment and negativity.
12.     Ask the Lord to show you if there's anything else that you need to release. Allow yourself to fall into the Lord's arms and be permanently set free- free to be the child of God the Lord intended you to be.

 

 

I have been acknowledging all these hurtful feelings and I know when the time is right I will ask my husband to take the kids and bring them to play at the park or something so I can be alone with God and truly be able to get that hurt and pain out. This is something I need to do for me because I have been living in this torment for years and I have not been able to have a full relationship with my husband, and I have not been able to trust fully.

 

This person will never know the hurt and affect they caused me by their careless actions and disregard of my feelings and the effect they would have on my life. And I can't even be around them any more, hug them or look them in the eye. But I have been trying for so long to forgive and I need to find it so I can live my life to the fullest.

It's One Big Journey to Heaven

I was slipping, I was slipping so fast into the fires of hell,
The devil was my BFF, and he was just waiting for me with open arms.

Even though he was my bff, even through all the bad, I still prayed, with the little Faith I had. I said "God if you can hear me, help me, help me turn my life around. Help me to give this life up".

The something happened, My Dad (God) He grabbed me by the hand, a...nd He pulled me off of that path, because He loved me that much. Because I had just a smidgen of Faith, I had just a te tiny bit of Hope, He saved me.

He can do that for ANYONE, God never discriminates, He can save you if you ask Him.

I know that the Devil is mad and angry, why because I can feel it, every time I turn to God when he comes for me, I literally know how mad he is, because for some reason I can feel him get that mad, I know when he is ticked off.

God can save anyone, God has the power to pull you from the flames the way He did me.

I know this road is hard and long, and the more you believe and love God, the devil makes it THAT much harder. But because you believe at all, because you have that tiny bit of Faith and Hope. God will come for you, and He will beat the devil every time.

Do NOT think its an easy road, because it NEVER is, getting to heaven isn't about believing in God, just saying prayers and going to church...

No sir Its work, you have to actually spend time with God, build a relationship with him and keep Him front and center in your lives, it may seem like a lot of work, but trust me, you put God at the center of your life, He will put everything else in place for you.

If your having a hard time, STOP, stop everything you are doing, and just say God, help me, God turn this around for me.

He will, you just have to understand He does it in HIS own time, because He's building up something bigger and better for you.

And that my friend is the greatest gift from God.

Its HIS LOVE

A New Calling

Yesterday, I felt a whole new calling from God, Like I'm okay to tell people about my life story and all the things I did. I use to be so ashamed of that.

But now I know, I just have this passion in my heart, I have this huge passion to steer kids away from the path I took. I don't want other people living with the pain and the hurt that's in my heart. I don't want anyone searching there whole life for love and acceptance in all the wrong places.

It took me 24 years to find God the way I have now. It took me 24 years to find the Father I have been searching for and the Mother I always wanted.
I'm okay to know I don't have that relationship with my parents now God and Mary, they are my parents and I know they will never turn me away, they will always be hear to listen to me.

The devil can try and he can try, but he can never take that away from me. He cant take the relationship I have with my heavenly parents. I will never let them go!

And its not just kids, I want to help adults, I want to help fix the broken families and the broken marriages. It took me and my husband, 7 years of fighting for this relationship, and when God knew we needed it, he gave us 2 beautiful boys to keep us hanging on till we could find him. Our marriage did not get ANY kind of better until we accepted God in our lives. And now we share a whole new love for each other, an awesome love for Christ, and we have made new family and friends.

                I live my life for God now, and if I didn't then it would just be worthless.

{I love you Father, and I love you Mother, with all the love I know how to give I give it all to you}

How Do You Fix You?

   This morning I have never felt more alone. I know God is always here, but its so, so hard when you physically can't see Him.
  
This morning I had come to the realization that I am so messed up, I am seriously messed up, I did so many hurtful things and I have had so many hurtful things done to me in my life, that my heart is so full of pain. I don't know how to fix it, I keep crying out and hoping someone will just listen and tell me why I am so messed up. Who will listen to my whole story and tell me why I can't fully give love to people. Like I love my husband, but I'm so messed up that I can't fully love him the way he needs.
    Because of all this pain I have deep inside, I push it out on others number one being my husband because he doesn't understand. I don't know how to deal with it.
   I finally broke down this morning and I told God I just felt like I was meant to be alone, I don't want a darn shrink because they wont help me they will more than likely want to put me on depression medicine. THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED!!!! What I need is someone to sit in front of me and let me pour my heart out to them. And I know that's what God is for, like I said it makes it so hard when you can't see Him, we think He might be to busy with someone else. And that's never the case, but I know I try to cry out, and I want someone to just hear me. And I cry out to God but just because I can't hear Him when I really want to doesn't mean He's not listening to me. BUT ITS SO HARD TO SEE THAT!

    I love the Blessed Mother so much, I didn't have that relationship with my mother that I could tell my problems to and she would know what to say, so I always looked for a mother in everyone else, I looked to other peoples friends as mothers and I would hurt when I see how awesome their relationships would be. I never thought to turn to Mother Mary. She makes me feel so amazing, but again because I can't physically see her, it makes it so hard.
  
    I always want to talk to someone, like I just drop it here and there but I never know how to really say STOP I'M HURTING please just listen to me so I can get some relief. It's because I feel the need to help others so much, I want to listen to them so I can help them because I can't help myself. I feel like you know other people go through hard times as well, harder than me, so I SHUT DOWN, and I feel selfish for wanting to talk about my problems. So it's bottled inside of me and it builds up in my heart, so when I am truly happy, all that pain stomps on it the first chance it gets. Like op she's too happy lets do something about that.

   At this point like when I'm seriously realizing how messed up I am, I just feel like is there even a way to help myself? No joke a therapist will NOT help, because there all like, why do you think you feel this way, (all robotic like).. No cracker I KNOW why I feel this way, did you not just hear me tell you all the messed up crap I went through in my life, yet you gonna ask me why I think I feel this way. Therapist are trained to give you like scientific answers, and pretty much make you realize even more that your full of crazy, I don't want to know how crazy you think I am... I ALREADY KNOW THAT PART, I already know I got more issues than vogue magazine, plus you charge an ARM AND A LEG, for me to tell you my problems, I AM BROKE AS A JOKE, who are you kidding here.
   Are you going to really feel my pain, are you going to cry with me because you truly understand the pain and the hurt I'm going through. And for us broke people who can't afford a shrink, what do those broken people do?? Oh well you don't have enough to pay me sooo I can't help you.... THAT'S WHY I HATE THERAPIST!! Because if I want to listen to some one's problems for a living, I'm gonna go to those broken people who can't afford it because they need it more than anyone else in this world. I am going to go sit next to a homeless person and ask them to just pour there heart out to me. Because not one shrink thinks to do that? They don't see dollar signs ($$$$$) they not stopping.
     If there was such a shrink that really cared, that didn't care about the money.. PA LEASE come my way. Like I said I know how crazy I am, and its not even crazy, its just hurt and full of pain. I don't need medication, I need someone to show me the love I didn't have, someone to show me the love that I was ALWAYS looking for my life, but I didn't know how to find it, so I did poo do crazy things and still couldn't find it.

By the way the answer to all this is JUST TURN TO GOD

 

But because I don't have many friends and I don't know how to pour my heart out and go from beginning of my screw ups to end I'm going to just go on this huge rant till its all off my chest and I feel slightly better enough to tuck all the pain back in and go on with my life.

 

 

   Yes I poured my heart out to God this morning and I know He knows I need a little more than that, so I'm hoping He forgives me and understands and is patient with me while I figure out the part where I need to go from beginning to end so I can REALLY give it all to Him. Like I know He knows, but I also know He is waiting for me to break it down piece by piece and I need to really sit down and no joke go from like what age 12 where I think it all started. I don't know, I don't know where it all started... My childhood is starting to blur because of all the pain from my adolescent years to now, and I got that Alzheimer's memory (no joke I'll walk into a room and be like what did I come in here for or talking to my husband and say you know what.. wait I lost it??)

  

    So now I got some work to do, and in ranting I just figured it out, like I really need to start writing down everything that I did or what done to me and just try my best to start remembering so I can I don't know do what with those pages, put it in a balloon and release it to heaven?? I don't know yet, haven't figured that out, but I need to get started one day at a time.

  

 

Now I feel a slight bit better

Don't even care if you read it, just need to put it out there!

This is Just some of how Awesome the Retreat was

I mean how can you not love an awesome

Beat Boxing Priest!

I want him to be my best friend!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 And of course they did a Harlem Shake video including all the kids.

Seriously How Awesome this was.

You had to be there!!

 

I have another little blog on Tumblr, just want to share

   I have another little blog on tumblr if anyone uses it, its just small tidbits maybe not so long, so if your just looking for a quick perk up or a quick religious session, you can go there.

 

http://anemeraldmadebygod.tumblr.com/

Have a Blessed Day

 

Be Saved TODAY!

Pray this prayer... "Lord Jesus, I am a sinner, and I believe you paid for my sins with your blood, and that you rose from the dead. I repent of my unbelief and place my trust in you alone to be my Savior. Amen!"

If this is your prayer, Romans 10:13 is God’s answer: "For whosoever SHALL call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

A Life Changing Experience ~ God on another Level!

 




So I want to share with all of you some of the experiences I had on our retreat this weekend. Like I seriously thought I was close to God but it reached a whole new level this weekend, so apparently I wasn't close enough.

 

 

Day1

   ~ I had such a hard time opening up to God the first night, I mean I enjoyed it, I cried, but I always cry so I expected that. But I was just soo distracted I just couldn't concentrate on God and really focus. So I was really upset about that once the first night ended. I know this doesn't seem like much but it's important.

 

Day2

    ~ So day number 2, the youth group leader pulled me aside and really gave me some encouraging words that helped me out. She knew I was having a hard time. So she really helped me to kind of calm my anxiety.

 

 

The Girls Talk

   At one point they separated the girls and the guys to do their own thing. And during the girls time, the woman speaker really hit home for me. Like I'm 24 years old and I seriously wish I would have been part of a youth group when I was a teenager, my life would have been completely different. But I also more than likely wouldn't have the children I have, and I'm thankful for them and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, so I am glad in that way, that I didn't attend a retreat when I was younger. But I got just as much as the kids there I can promise.

   But the one thing I learned with the girls talk, was I really didn't know what love was, my whole life I looked and looked for it in material things, things that were small pleasures, sleeping around, I just looked and looked and looked. All in the wrong places, I never thought to look for it in God. I just wanted some one to truly love me, and I couldn't find it, so I really felt worthless all my life. I felt as if there was no point in me being on this earth, I didn't know why God bothered to bring me into this world. I just was so, so empty my whole life. And I really didn't realize it until I heard that woman talking. It all hit me at once, like a big slap in the face. My daddy didn't tell me I was beautiful, my mom didn't either, instead of asking me why I did the things I did, I was called bad names, so I then turned around and acted that way. My mom kept pushing and pushing and she should have just been trying to talk to me, I never got the sex talk, so I didn't know how beautiful it was or why it was important to wait till I was married. So I just did it. My dad just chose not to talk at all or do anything to establish a relationship with me. He just bought me stuff and spoiled us. But not with real love, once I hit my teens that was it, I don't remember the last deep conversation I had with my dad. Still to this day and I'm 24 years old. I spent 24 years looking for love, just someone to love me and I never once thought to look to God.

 

Adoration that Night

   So during adoration the speaker told us to just focus on God, stop making things about ourselves and just make it about God. So I just for some reason I kept asking God to love me, I just kept saying Love me, Please love me, I just needed Him to Love me. We'll the bishop goes around with the Eucharist and he passes down all the isles. My husband and I just so happened to be sitting at the end of the isle and he was going to pass right next to us. I had my eyes closed most of the night, but I could feel the Eucharist getting closer and closer in my heart. When he was coming up our isle I close my eyes and began to cry, but then something happened, I had a vision.

 

The Vision's 

    So in my vision, I was a small tiny like child, and I was on God's lap and it felt like I was being rocked, and then after a little while, He tucked me into His arm where I just felt so safe, and I looked around and standing in front were, Jesus, The Blessed Mother, and my Maw Maw, and they were praying over me. (I never met my maw maw, she died before I was born, so this was a huge deal like I don't know whats going on I'm freaking out).

   And then after that I just saw my Maw Maw, who is so beautiful (I pray to her, and I tell her I miss her and I know we would have been close if she would be around, and I can't wait to meet her). And she kept telling me to let go, and open up, she just kept saying Emmie let go. I was fighting it so bad, like I just didn't want to let God in, but she kept reassuring me to let go. Right then the bishop was passing by us with the Eucharist, but he didn't keep going he just stopped and stood there, and through tears I opened one eye, and I was kneeling so all I could see was his feet, and in that moment I sank to the floor and I cried, I never in my life cried this way, I cried so hard I thought I was going to pass out, I didn't even know how I was going to stop. But I gave God my everything, and He showed me a love that I didn't even know existed. For 24 years I searched for this kind of Love, and at 24 years old I saw my Maw Maw, even though that sounds crazy, but I saw her and she was beautiful.

   After I cried for I don't even know how long, I saw the Blessed Mother, and she put her hand on my heart, and I mean I immediately stopped crying and a calm I never felt before came over me, I was filled with warmth and love and I had the 2 parents I needed, God and the Blessed Mother were my mom and dad, and Its okay if I don't have a deep relationship with my biological parents, I have that with Them. I consider myself very close to the Blessed Mother, I love her beyond reason and I get so excited when someone talks about her.

 

   After I quit crying, I was just in awe of what just happened. A new friend I made in the youth group, a girl my age, who is completely special to me. She just held me, and we held each other for a little while, and I had another vision.

   This time is was the Blessed Mother, and she was standing in front of us with her arms open as if she was embracing us in a hug as we held each other. And then it hit me, all my life I just wanted to be accepted and liked for who I was, but I spent 24 years of my life trying to be someone I wasn't, trying to fit in afraid to be myself because I thought people would think I was weird and odd. And this group of people in the youth group, this girl that was holding me, all these people accepted me for me. And She was my soul sister, it was like I was embracing a long lost sister of mine. And these other kids/young adults, they were my family. The family God intended me to be with all my life, it just took a journey to get there.

 

 

My life has been forever changed by this group of people, each and every person has touched me in a special way, and I love them like my family. I would do anything for them, to protect them.

 

  I made such special connections with several of the people, of all different ages, I made a new sister almost like my long lost twin. I adopted a teenager into my mothers heart. I saw him crying in adoration and my heart cried out for him like he was my child (you know given the odds I'm 24 and I could have a 16 year old son ha). But that boy changed me, I feel the need to protect him, to tell him how special he is. He's like a little ball of sunshine, and I don't think he knows how awesome he is, he has a smile that could light up a room, and no one can take away how special he is or his gifts are. That's only 2 people, there are so many more which I will probably slowly start talking about.

 

 

I just wanted to share with you my experience because I see God on a whole other level, that I didn't even know existed because I thought we were close already. I felt love for the first time, I love my husband and kids in a whole new way. I have a whole new family. And I have the life I was always wanting and wishing and hoping for. I just never prayed for it, which is probably what I should have done in the beginning. But its okay because God gave it to me anyway, just took a while. And I'm glad He waited until now, when I needed them the most He brought me and my husband to them.

 



My New Family!

God's Family 

 ~We're not Perfect, but we're Perfectly Good Enough in God's eyes~

 

 

Growing Closer to God

   So Today my husband and I are leaving for a retreat in a few hours, which we will be chaperoning. My only hope is that I can be a positive role model for these young adolescent minds. This is something we have been planning for a little while, just didn't want to boast to much about it, incase anything came up. I have 2 children after all which was hard to find a sitter, but when it came down to it, my awesome mother is watching them. Which is almost physically impossible because she is handicap and can not walk without a crutch and so she really cannot be running after my 23month old. I'm hoping there guardian angels will keep them pretty calm this weekend because they are just that BOYS they get into everything and my youngest climbs like CRAZY. There is nothing he cant climb.
   Anyways to sum up the feelings I am going through right now, is excited, nervous, a little nausea, worried, slight anxiety, happy I don't have to fuss all weekend, happy I don't have to hear my oldest for 2 hours saying are we there yet? Are we close? Hey are we there yet? And also I'm going through this O my gosh I'm leaving my children for two days I am a horrible mother thing. Its pretty obvious my husband and I NEVER do anything or go to far without our children. Which is the way we like. I mean I just keep telling myself well at least were doing something religious and not going do something selfishly for ourselves.
   And I'm pretty sure I feel this way because of the fact were leaving our children with our handicap mother and I feel selfish for asking her to do this. I mean if we had another sitter I wouldn't feel so bad, but I know how hard it is for my mom, and I also know that she is happy to do it because she loves her grandbabies, and she wishes with all her heart she could watch them like a normal grandma. So she truly is a saint for doing this for us. I owe her a good birthday present which is at the end of next month ha.
   I am however VERY excited to be taking this opportunity to grow closer to the Lord!

   And since I have been in preparation all week for this, I'm pretty sure I'm still forgetting to pack something. I haven't blogged all week, so I thought I would leave you with a daily passage for today's date, from my little bible in 366 days.

   June 14

   The Creator of Everything

 

Whenever we compare God to an idol, we discover who the living God is - the Almighty Creator of everything and everyone. Worship and serve Him only.

 

     1Hear the word that the LORD speaks to you, O Israel! 2This is what the LORD says: "Do not act like the other nations, who try to read their future in the stars. Do not be afraid of their predictions, even though other nations are terrified by them. 3Thier ways are futile and foolish. They cut down a tree, and a craftsmen carves an idol. 4They decorate it with gold and silver and then fasten it securely with hammer and nails so it won't fall over. 5Thier gods are like helpless scarecrows in a cucumber field! They cannot speak, and they need to be carried because they cannot walk. Do not be afraid of such gods, for they can neither harm you nor do you any good."

   6LORD, there is no one like you! For you are great, and your name is full of power. 7Who would not fear you, O King of nations? That title belongs to you alone! Among all the wise people of the earth and in all the kingdoms of the world, there is no one like you.

   10But the LORD is the only true God. He is the living God and the everlasting King! The whole earth trembles at his anger. The nations cannot stand up to his wrath.

   14The whole human race is foolish and has no knowledge! The craftsmen are disgraced by the idols they make, for their carefully shaped works are a fraud. These idols have no breath or power. 15Idols are worthless; they are ridiculous lies! On the day of reckoning they will all be destroyed. 16But the God of Israel is no idol! He is the Creator of everything that exists, including Israel, his own special possession. The LORD of Heaven's Armies is his name!

 

~ Jeremiah 10: 1-7, 10, 14-16

 

I hope you all have a BLESSED weekend, and I hope you all take time in your own way to spend time with the Lord our God. He loves when each and everyone of take time to worship and talk to him. 

 

 

Glorious Mysteries Meditation

I truly love meditating on the mysteries of the Rosary, not only does it bring me closer to my Blessed Mother, but it gives me a better understanding of Jesus and His life. So I'm always looking for new ways to meditate on the mysteries of the Rosary, and this is the meditation I read today, and I just feel so wonderful after praying and meditating.

THE
GLORIOUS
MYSTERIES

1. THE RESURRECTION
Jesus rose from the dead. With it He conquered death, defeated Satan, sin, and the world, and gave new life to mankind. The joy of the risen Christ is greater than pain. The hope that comes from His resurrection is the victory over our own fear of dying. We follow Jesus; follow His steps through this world, and into the next.
Prayer Intention
Let us pray in thanksgiving and in praise, giving glory to the risen Lord. Let us offer to the Triumphant Prince of Peace, all those in despair, those who have lost hope lost faith; that in the Resurrection of Jesus will be their own future. He is the way and the truth and the life
Our Father...
1. After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene came with the other Mary to inspect the tomb. (Mt. 28:1)
Hail Mary....
2. The angel came to the stone, rolled it back and sat on it. (Mt. 28:2)
Hail Mary...
3. Then the angel spoke, addressing the women: Do not be frightened. I know you are looking for Jesus the crucified, but He is not here. He has been raised, exactly as He promised. (Mt. 28:5-6)
Hail Mary....
4. He has been raised from the dead and now goes ahead of you to Galilee. (Mt. 28:7)
Hail Mary...
5. On the evening of the first day of the week, even though the disciples had locked the doors of the place where they were.... Jesus came and stood before them. Peace be with you. He said. (Jn. 20:19)
Hail Mary...
6. In their panic and fright they thought they were seeing a ghost.(Lk. 24:37)
Hail Mary...
7. He said to them, Why are you disturbed? Look at My hands and My feet; it is really I. (Lk. 24:38-39)
Hail Mary...
8. At the sight of the Lord, the disciples rejoiced. (Jn.20:20)
Hail Mary...
9. Peace be with you. Jesus said again. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.
(Jn. 20:21)
Hail Mary...
10. I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in Me, though he should die, will come to life. (Jn 11:25-26)
Hail Mary...
Glory be to the Father...
O My Jesus, forgive us our sins...
Suggested Hymn: (He Is Lord, He is Lord)
2. THE ASCENSION
He goes to prepare a place for us, and has returned to The Father in heaven. And He has promised: Where I am, you can be too. Through His ascension, He has shown us a preview of our life hereafter. The Good Shepherd guides us through the valley of darkness. We are constantly tempted, distracted, disillusioned by here-and-now needs. It is Mary who assists, frequently trying to lift us up, trying to prepare us for her Son, asking that we make Jesus the first priority in our life You cannot serve two masters. You cannot serve God and the money of the world. Seek first the Kingdom of God.
Prayer Intention
Let us pray for direction; direction in our lives and for all those who have lost the way; that they may turn back to God. Let us pray that we might give direction to the children in the world, in meeting Jesus. Let us pray that Jesus may become their first priority.
Our Father...
1. Jesus led His disciples out near Bethany, and with hands upraised, blessed them. (Lk. 24:50)
Hail Mary....
2. Jesus addressed them in these words: Full authority has been given to Me both in heaven and on earth. (Mt. 28:18)
Hail Mary....
3. Go therefore, and make disciples of all the nations. Baptize them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. (Mt. 28:19)
Hail Mary....
4. And know that I am with you always, until the end of the world. (Mt. 28:20)
Hail Mary....
5. The man who believes in the good news and accepts baptism will be saved; the man who refuses to believe in it will be condemned... (Mk. 16:16)
Hail Mary....
6. As Jesus blessed them, He left them and was taken up to heaven. (Lk. 24:51)
Hail Mary....
7. He was lifted up before their eyes in a cloud which took Him from their sight. (Acts. 1:9)
Hail Mary....
8. This Jesus Who has been taken from you will return, just as you saw Him go up into the heavens. (Acts. 1:11)
Hail Mary....
9. They fell down to do Him reverence, then returned to Jerusalem filled with joy. (Lk.24:52)
Hail Mary....
10. Jesus took His seat at God's right hand. (Mk. 16:19)
Hail Mary...
Glory be to the Father...
0 My Jesus, forgive us our sins...
Suggested Hymn: (His Peace is Flowing Like a River)
3. THE DESCENT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
Before His Ascension, Jesus had said, Because I go, the paraclete will come. The Spirit of God descended upon the apostles. They were empowered with the special gifts of God, to carry on the Lord's work of redemption. With them, was Mary, and the other women, praying with the infant Church. She has never ceased to pray for us and the Church, asking her Spouse, the Holy Spirit, to again touch hearts. She has told us to pray to the Holy Spirit; that those who have the gifts of the Holy Spirit have everything.
Prayer Intention
Let us offer these prayers for our own penticost. For an increase in the Holy Spirit's gifts to us. We pray for a deeper faith, and trust in God; for a complete submission to the will of God. Let us pray especially for gifts to the young, for strength that they may be able to stand up to the deception Satan brings to their daily activities.
Our Father...
1. Jesus said, I will ask the Father and He will give you another Paraclete, to be with you always. (Jn.14:16)
Hail Mary....
2. The Paraclete, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will instruct you in everything, and remind you of all that I told you. (Jn. 14:26)
Hail Mary...
3. Within a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit. (Acts. 1:5)
Hail Mary...
4. You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes down on you; then you are to be My witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea. ... and even to the ends of the earth. (Acts. 1:8)
Hail Mary....
5. When the day of Pentecost came, it found them gathered in one place. Suddenly from up in the sky there came a noise like a strong driving wind, which was heard all through the house. (Acts. 2:1-2)
Hail Mary....
6. Tongues, as of fire appeared, which parted and came to rest on each of them. All were filled with the Holy Spirit. (Acts. 2:3)
Hail Mary....
7. They began to express themselves in foreign tongues and make bold proclamation as the Spirit prompted them. (Acts. 2:4)
Hail Mary....
8. Staying in Jerusalem at the time were devout men of every nation. They heard the sound, and assembled in a large crowd. They were confused because each heard the disciples speaking his own language (Acts. 2:5-6)
Hail Mary...
9. Peter stood up with the Eleven and addressed them, You must reform and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, that your sins may be forgiven; then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts. 2:38)
Hail Mary....
10. Those who accepted His message were baptized; some three thousand were added that day. (Acts. 2:41)
Hail Mary....
Glory be to the Father...
0 My Jesus, forgive us our sins...
Suggested Hymn: (Come Holy Ghost)
4. THE ASSUMPTION
Mary is assumed, body and soul into heaven. Reunited with her Son, Jesus. Through her assumption, Mary became the reflection of her risen Son. She is also the model of the perfection to which we are called. She represents total submission to the will of God. Mary, as Mother of the Church, protect the Mystical Body of your Son, and our Saviour.
Prayer Intention
Here let us ask Mary to especially pray with us for the souls in purgatory; that she might join with us in intercession for those who can no longer help themselves. Those who now entirely depend on us for their final purification. Let us pray especially for the souls forgotten, who have no one to remember them.
Our Father...
1. The Lord God said to the serpent: I will put enmity between you and the woman and between your off-spring and hers. (Gn. 3:15)
Hail Mary....
2. He will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel. (Gn. 3:15)
Hail Mary....
3. A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. (Rv. 12:1)
Hail Mary....
4. Father, all those you gave me I would have in my company where I am.
(Jn. 17:24)
Hail Mary....
5. Wherefore She is our Mother in the order of grace. (Vat. I, Constit. on Ch. 61)
Hail Mary....
6. Taken up to heaven, She did not lay aside this salvific duty, but by Her intercession continues to bring us the gifts of eternal salvation. (Vat. II, Constit. of Ch. 62)
Hail Mary....
7. For He has looked upon His servant in her lowliness. (Lk. 1:48)
Hail Mary....
8. All ages to come shall call me blessed. (Lk. 1:48)
Hail Mary....
9. Those who love me I also love, and those who seek me find me... He who finds me finds life, and wins favor from the Lord. (Prov. 8:17-35)
Hail Mary....
10. Come then my love. My lovely one come. (Song 2:10)
Hail Mary...
Glorry be to the Father...
0 My Jesus, forgive us our sins....
Suggested Hymn: (I lift up my Soul)
5. THE CORONATION OF MARY
Mary is crowned Queen of the angels and saints in heaven. Queen of the Holy Rosary, Queen of Peace, Queen of Apostles, Queen of Prophets. How many titles have been given to the Mother of the Incarnation of the Word! Not only is she proclaimed as the new Eve, and Mother of the Church, she is also given a prominent position in the salvation and redemption of the world. Her soul magnifies the Lord, all nations shall call her blessed. Her glorious coronation in heaven, is our hope
Prayer Intention
Let us offer this mystery then for Mary's intentions. Her intercession, her constant appearances, her role as Mediatrix of graces. Let us pray that her efforts on our behalf, her efforts to lead all her children back to her Son, will not be impeded. We pray also, to God, The Father, in thanksgiving for Mary's presence, for her role, for her help. We pray in thanksgiving that she is.
Our Father...
1. God who is mighty, has done great things for me. (Lk. 1:49)
Hail Mary....
2. My heart overflows with a goodly theme; as I sing my ode to the king. (Ps. 45:2)
Hail Mary....
3. Fairer in beauty are you than the sons of men; grace is poured out upon your lips; thus God has blessed you forever. (Ps. 45:3)
Hail Mary....
4. Because of this gift of sublime grace, She far surpasses all creatures, both in heaven and on earth. (Vat. II, Constit. of Ch. 53)
Hail Mary....
5. I am the rose of Sharon, I am the lilly of the valleys. (Song 2:1)
Hail Mary....
6. So now, 0 children, listen to me; instruction and wisdom do not reject.
(Prov. 8:32-33)
Hail Mary...
7. The Lord chose Her. He chose Her before She was born. (Div. off.)
Hail Mary....
8. Entirely holy, and free from all stain of sin. (Constit. of Ch. 56)
Hail Mary....
9. Freely cooperating in the work of human salvation through faith and obedience (Constit. of Ch. 56)
Hail Mary....
10. Blessed are you, daughter; by the Most High God, above all the women on earth. (Judith 13:18)
Hail Mary....
Glory be to the Father...
O My Jesus, forgive us our sins...
Suggested Hymn: (City of God)

You ever Love Some one so much it Hurts?

 That's how I feel about Jesus, and today I cried meditating on the sorrowful mysteries because when I sin it hurts Jesus, and He died for me and my sins.

  I think sometimes we are to selfish to see that there was one Man who loved us so much He voluntarily died to save us. Could we ask to be loved any more? I don't see how you can. My heart aches because I love this Man so much and if I was given the choice to die for Him, Yes I would do it, because He loved me so much even through all the sins and mistakes I made, that He willingly died to save me. I should love Him that much back and now my new goal in life is to work my way to heaven, so that I can be with the man I love. And hoping I can help other people to feel the way I feel about Him.

   God wants us to be in Love with Jesus, with Him. He is our creator, our Father, and He gave us His only son because we were to foolish to believe in Him and trust in Him that we ask Him to prove to us how much He loved us. So He gave us His son to die for us and our sins. And yet sometimes we are still to selfish to see it. How can we ask for anything more from God?? How can we ask anything more from Jesus? He died for us, willingly because He knew it had to happen. Jesus was so powerful that He could have saved Himself in the snap of a finger. Do we forget that? But yet He didn't, He gave himself freely because He loved us so. And all God is asking is that we love Him back, He's not asking us to die for Him, although I would hope if given the situation we would not abandon Him, because in our last moments on earth we should only be focused on God, and being with Him in heaven. I have 2 children and a husband, yet I know in my heart if I had to die tomorrow for God for Jesus, the man I love so much, I would do it. Because my whole life I just wanted to be loved so much, and I was looking for it in all the wrong places. I never looked for it in God, I wish I had a lot earlier in life. But even though I didn't, God still blessed me with a husband who loves me for me, behind the makeup. He blessed me with two beautiful boys who love me more than anything. And He did all this before I appreciated Him. And yet I was to selfish to see how much He loved me.

 

Today is the sorrowful mysteries and what got me thinking and meditating on how much Jesus has done for me in dying for me, was the meditation I read at each mystery. And yes I cried because I realized this man has ALWAYS loved me in the way I wanted my whole life, and I waited 24 years to figure it out. That is the most disappointing part, I should have realized it sooner.

 

I think its wonderful to meditate on passages and scripture while saying the Rosary, it brings us closer to God, Our Blessed Mother, and Jesus. This is what I meditated on today.

 

Sorrowful Mysteries

 

Agony in the Garden: Matthew 26:36-39
Then Jesus came with them into a country place which is called Gethsemani; and he said to his disciples: Sit you here, till I go yonder and pray. And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to grow sorrowful and to be sad. Then he saith to them: My soul is sorrowful even unto death: stay you here, and watch with me. And going a little further, he fell upon his face, praying, and saying: My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me. Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.

It is for the love of His Father above all else that Jesus willed to undergo His Passion.

Behold Jesus Christ in His agony. For three long hours weariness, grief, fear and anguish sweep in upon His soul like a torrent; the pressure of this interior agony is so immense that blood bursts forth from His sacred veins. What an abyss of suffering is reached in this agony! And what does Jesus say to His Father? "Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from Me." Can it be that Jesus no longer accepts the Will of His Father? Oh! certainly He does. But this prayer is the cry of the sensitive emotions of poor human nature, crushed by ignominy and suffering. Now is Jesus truly a "Man of Sorrows." Our Savior feels the terrible weight of His agony bearing down upon His shoulders. He wants us to realize this; that is why He utters such a prayer.

But listen to what He immediately adds: "Nevertheless, Father, not My will but Thine be done." Here is the triumph of love. Because He loves His Father, He places the Will of His Father above everything else and accepts every possible suffering in order to redeem us.

Scourging at the Pillar: Matthew 27:25-26
And the whole people answering, said: His blood be upon us and our children. Then he released to them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, delivered him unto them to be crucified

Christ substituted Himself voluntarily for us as a sacrificial victim without blemish in order to pay our debt, and, by the expiation and the satisfaction which He made for us, to restore the Divine life to us. This was the mission which Christ came to fulfill, the course which He had to run. "God has placed upon Him"--a man like unto ourselves, of the race of Adam, but entirely just and innocent and without sin--"the iniquity of us all."

Since Christ has become, so to speak, a sharer in our nature and taken upon Himself the debt of our sin, He has merited for us a share in His justice and holiness. In the forceful words of St. Paul, God, "by sending His Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as a sin-offering, has condemned sin in the flesh." And with an impact still more stunning, the Apostle writes: "For our sakes He (God) made Him (Christ) to be sin who knew nothing of sin." How startling this expression is: "made Him to be sin"! The Apostle does not say "sinner," but--what is still more striking--"sin"!

Let us never forget that "we have been redeemed at great price by the precious blood of Christ as of a lamb without blemish and without spot."

Crowning with Thorns: Matthew 27:28-29
And stripping him, they put a scarlet cloak about him. And platting a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand. And bowing the knee before him, they mocked him, saying: Hail, king of the Jews.

Christ Jesus becomes an object of derision and insults at the hands of the temple servants. Behold Him, the all-powerful God, struck by sharp blows; His adorable face, the joy of the saints, is covered with spittle; a crown of thorns is forced down upon His head; a purple robe is placed upon His shoulders as a mock of derision; a reed is thrust into His hand; the servants genuflect insolently before Him in mockery. What an abyss of ignominy! What humiliation and disgrace for One before Whom the angels tremble!

The cowardly Roman governor imagines that the hatred of the Jews will be satisfied by the sight of Christ in this pitiful state. He shows Him to the crowd: "Ecce Homo--Behold the Man!"

Let us contemplate our Divine Master at this moment, plunged into the abyss of suffering and ignominy, and let us realize that the Father also presents Him to us and says to us: "Behold My Son, the splendor of My glory--but bruised for the sins of My people."

Carrying the Cross: John 19:12-18
And from henceforth Pilate sought to release him. But the Jews cried out, saying: If thou release this man, thou art not Caesar's friend. For whosoever maketh himself a king, speaketh against Caesar. Now when Pilate had heard these words, he brought Jesus forth, and sat down in the judgment seat, in the place that is called Lithostrotos, and in Hebrew Gabbatha. And it was the parasceve of the pasch, about the sixth hour, and he saith to the Jews: Behold your king. But they cried out: Away with him; away with him; crucify him. Pilate saith to them: Shall I crucify your king? The chief priests answered: We have no king but Caesar. Then therefore he delivered him to them to be crucified. And they took Jesus, and led him forth. And bearing his own cross, he went forth to that place which is called Calvary, but in Hebrew Golgotha. Where they crucified him, and with him two others, one on each side, and Jesus in the midst.

Let us meditate upon Jesus Christ on the way to Calvary laden with His cross. He falls under the weight of this burden. To expiate sin, He wills to experience in His own flesh the oppression of sin. Fearing that Jesus will not reach the place of crucifixion alive, the Jews force Simon of Cyrene to help Christ to carry His cross, and Jesus accepts this assistance.

In this Simon represents all of us. As members of the Mystical Body of Christ, we should all help Jesus to carry His Cross. This is the one sure sign that we belong to Christ--if we carry our cross with Him.

But while Jesus carried His cross, He merited for us the strength to bear our trials with generosity. He has placed in His cross a sweetness which makes ours bearable, for when we carry our cross it is really His that we receive. For Christ unites with His own the sufferings, sorrows, pains and burdens which we accept with love from His hand, and by this union He gives them an inestimable value, and they become a source of great merit for us.

It is above all His love for His Father which impels Christ to accept the sufferings of His Passion, but it is also the love which He bears us.

Crucifixion & Death: Luke 23:45-46
And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. And Jesus crying out with a loud voice, said: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. And saying this, he gave up the ghost.

At the Last Supper, when the hour had come to complete His oblation of self, what did Christ say to His Apostles who were gathered around Him? "Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends." And this is the love, surpassing all loves, which Jesus shows us; for, as St. Paul says, "It is for us all that He is delivered up." What greater proof of love could He have given us? None.

Hence the Apostle declares without ceasing that "because He loved us, Christ delivered Himself up for us," and "because of the love He bears for me, He gave Himself up for me."

"Delivered," "given"--to what extent? Even to the death on the cross!

What enhances this love immeasurably is the sovereign liberty with which Christ delivered Himself up: "He offered Himself because He willed it." These words tell us how spontaneously Jesus accepted His Passion. This freedom with which Jesus delivered Himself up to death for us is one of the aspects of His sacrifice which touch our human hearts most profoundly.



 

(He did this for me, and I'm complaining about what now?)