That's how I feel about Jesus, and today I cried meditating on the sorrowful mysteries because when I sin it hurts Jesus, and He died for me and my sins.
I think sometimes we are to selfish to see that there was one Man who loved us so much He voluntarily died to save us. Could we ask to be loved any more? I don't see how you can. My heart aches because I love this Man so much and if I was given the choice to die for Him, Yes I would do it, because He loved me so much even through all the sins and mistakes I made, that He willingly died to save me. I should love Him that much back and now my new goal in life is to work my way to heaven, so that I can be with the man I love. And hoping I can help other people to feel the way I feel about Him.
God wants us to be in Love with Jesus, with Him. He is our creator, our Father, and He gave us His only son because we were to foolish to believe in Him and trust in Him that we ask Him to prove to us how much He loved us. So He gave us His son to die for us and our sins. And yet sometimes we are still to selfish to see it. How can we ask for anything more from God?? How can we ask anything more from Jesus? He died for us, willingly because He knew it had to happen. Jesus was so powerful that He could have saved Himself in the snap of a finger. Do we forget that? But yet He didn't, He gave himself freely because He loved us so. And all God is asking is that we love Him back, He's not asking us to die for Him, although I would hope if given the situation we would not abandon Him, because in our last moments on earth we should only be focused on God, and being with Him in heaven. I have 2 children and a husband, yet I know in my heart if I had to die tomorrow for God for Jesus, the man I love so much, I would do it. Because my whole life I just wanted to be loved so much, and I was looking for it in all the wrong places. I never looked for it in God, I wish I had a lot earlier in life. But even though I didn't, God still blessed me with a husband who loves me for me, behind the makeup. He blessed me with two beautiful boys who love me more than anything. And He did all this before I appreciated Him. And yet I was to selfish to see how much He loved me.
Today is the sorrowful mysteries and what got me thinking and meditating on how much Jesus has done for me in dying for me, was the meditation I read at each mystery. And yes I cried because I realized this man has ALWAYS loved me in the way I wanted my whole life, and I waited 24 years to figure it out. That is the most disappointing part, I should have realized it sooner.
I think its wonderful to meditate on passages and scripture while saying the Rosary, it brings us closer to God, Our Blessed Mother, and Jesus. This is what I meditated on today.
Sorrowful Mysteries
Then Jesus came with them into a country place which is called Gethsemani; and he said to his disciples: Sit you here, till I go yonder and pray. And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to grow sorrowful and to be sad. Then he saith to them: My soul is sorrowful even unto death: stay you here, and watch with me. And going a little further, he fell upon his face, praying, and saying: My Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me. Nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
It is for the love of His Father above all else that Jesus willed to undergo His Passion.
Behold Jesus Christ in His agony. For three long hours weariness, grief, fear and anguish sweep in upon His soul like a torrent; the pressure of this interior agony is so immense that blood bursts forth from His sacred veins. What an abyss of suffering is reached in this agony! And what does Jesus say to His Father? "Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from Me." Can it be that Jesus no longer accepts the Will of His Father? Oh! certainly He does. But this prayer is the cry of the sensitive emotions of poor human nature, crushed by ignominy and suffering. Now is Jesus truly a "Man of Sorrows." Our Savior feels the terrible weight of His agony bearing down upon His shoulders. He wants us to realize this; that is why He utters such a prayer.
But listen to what He immediately adds: "Nevertheless, Father, not My will but Thine be done." Here is the triumph of love. Because He loves His Father, He places the Will of His Father above everything else and accepts every possible suffering in order to redeem us.
Scourging at the Pillar: Matthew 27:25-26
And the whole people answering, said: His blood be upon us and our children. Then he released to them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, delivered him unto them to be crucified
Christ substituted Himself voluntarily for us as a sacrificial victim without blemish in order to pay our debt, and, by the expiation and the satisfaction which He made for us, to restore the Divine life to us. This was the mission which Christ came to fulfill, the course which He had to run. "God has placed upon Him"--a man like unto ourselves, of the race of Adam, but entirely just and innocent and without sin--"the iniquity of us all."
Since Christ has become, so to speak, a sharer in our nature and taken upon Himself the debt of our sin, He has merited for us a share in His justice and holiness. In the forceful words of St. Paul, God, "by sending His Son in the likeness of sinful flesh as a sin-offering, has condemned sin in the flesh." And with an impact still more stunning, the Apostle writes: "For our sakes He (God) made Him (Christ) to be sin who knew nothing of sin." How startling this expression is: "made Him to be sin"! The Apostle does not say "sinner," but--what is still more striking--"sin"!
Let us never forget that "we have been redeemed at great price by the precious blood of Christ as of a lamb without blemish and without spot."
Crowning with Thorns: Matthew 27:28-29
And stripping him, they put a scarlet cloak about him. And platting a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand. And bowing the knee before him, they mocked him, saying: Hail, king of the Jews.
Christ Jesus becomes an object of derision and insults at the hands of the temple servants. Behold Him, the all-powerful God, struck by sharp blows; His adorable face, the joy of the saints, is covered with spittle; a crown of thorns is forced down upon His head; a purple robe is placed upon His shoulders as a mock of derision; a reed is thrust into His hand; the servants genuflect insolently before Him in mockery. What an abyss of ignominy! What humiliation and disgrace for One before Whom the angels tremble!
The cowardly Roman governor imagines that the hatred of the Jews will be satisfied by the sight of Christ in this pitiful state. He shows Him to the crowd: "Ecce Homo--Behold the Man!"
Let us contemplate our Divine Master at this moment, plunged into the abyss of suffering and ignominy, and let us realize that the Father also presents Him to us and says to us: "Behold My Son, the splendor of My glory--but bruised for the sins of My people."
Carrying the Cross: John 19:12-18
And from henceforth Pilate sought to release him. But the Jews cried out, saying: If thou release this man, thou art not Caesar's friend. For whosoever maketh himself a king, speaketh against Caesar. Now when Pilate had heard these words, he brought Jesus forth, and sat down in the judgment seat, in the place that is called Lithostrotos, and in Hebrew Gabbatha. And it was the parasceve of the pasch, about the sixth hour, and he saith to the Jews: Behold your king. But they cried out: Away with him; away with him; crucify him. Pilate saith to them: Shall I crucify your king? The chief priests answered: We have no king but Caesar. Then therefore he delivered him to them to be crucified. And they took Jesus, and led him forth. And bearing his own cross, he went forth to that place which is called Calvary, but in Hebrew Golgotha. Where they crucified him, and with him two others, one on each side, and Jesus in the midst.
Let us meditate upon Jesus Christ on the way to Calvary laden with His cross. He falls under the weight of this burden. To expiate sin, He wills to experience in His own flesh the oppression of sin. Fearing that Jesus will not reach the place of crucifixion alive, the Jews force Simon of Cyrene to help Christ to carry His cross, and Jesus accepts this assistance.
In this Simon represents all of us. As members of the Mystical Body of Christ, we should all help Jesus to carry His Cross. This is the one sure sign that we belong to Christ--if we carry our cross with Him.
But while Jesus carried His cross, He merited for us the strength to bear our trials with generosity. He has placed in His cross a sweetness which makes ours bearable, for when we carry our cross it is really His that we receive. For Christ unites with His own the sufferings, sorrows, pains and burdens which we accept with love from His hand, and by this union He gives them an inestimable value, and they become a source of great merit for us.
It is above all His love for His Father which impels Christ to accept the sufferings of His Passion, but it is also the love which He bears us.
Crucifixion & Death: Luke 23:45-46
And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. And Jesus crying out with a loud voice, said: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit. And saying this, he gave up the ghost.
At the Last Supper, when the hour had come to complete His oblation of self, what did Christ say to His Apostles who were gathered around Him? "Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends." And this is the love, surpassing all loves, which Jesus shows us; for, as St. Paul says, "It is for us all that He is delivered up." What greater proof of love could He have given us? None.
Hence the Apostle declares without ceasing that "because He loved us, Christ delivered Himself up for us," and "because of the love He bears for me, He gave Himself up for me."
"Delivered," "given"--to what extent? Even to the death on the cross!
What enhances this love immeasurably is the sovereign liberty with which Christ delivered Himself up: "He offered Himself because He willed it." These words tell us how spontaneously Jesus accepted His Passion. This freedom with which Jesus delivered Himself up to death for us is one of the aspects of His sacrifice which touch our human hearts most profoundly.
(He did this for me, and I'm complaining about what now?)
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